Excellent advice, Beth! Thank you. I especially value the tips on approaching the potential spanko, once spankicious behaviour has been spotted. You offer some wise, safe ways to scout out the terrain there! A very entertaining read. Thanks.

Briliant as this is a question I have often asked myself. I understand that gays have some sort of 'gaydar' to spot like minded people, so I wondered if there was some sort of 'spankdar'.

The next time I visit a supermarket or shop I shall remember your words and look closely to see if I can detect a fellow spanko.

I shall go to the local supermarket with renewed interest in future!

The problem is you also get people who pose as spankos just to garner comments. Comedienne Elle McFeast once wandered around London wearing a t-shirt with the legend Lady Spankbottom emblazoned across her ample chest, but I'm pretty certain she wasn't a spanko and just wore the shirt to see what reaction she could get.

Very funny and likely true in many aspects. I have found myself doing exactly what you describe, and gave no thought to what others may think. Now if we could just get spanko's to show a halo around their head, (much like Pink Angels halo) then we would know for certain.

Some good detection tools there, and a clever idea to use the library name too. I once found myself queuing at the check-out next to a middle-aged woman whose top had the logo "Report to my study now, you naughty boy!" That crtainly raised my suspicions!

Beth, you have missed your calling. Your advanced skills in Spanko Spotting could be put to excellent use in a Spanko Detective Agency. Imagine the fine service you could deliver to desperate lonely heart spankos seeking pain. I’m sure you’d qualify for nonprofit status. After all, such an activity would be a watershed to a community of uptight, closet spanking seekers.

I always look at the woman's footwear. If she's wearing a pair of black boots that are at least shine high, I begin to wonder. She might have a pair of form fitting jeans on, too. She walks with her shoulders back and very confident. If course I only infer here and don't really know.

With the men it's a little harder. I believe the older man is the spanko more so than the younger.

Good one, Beth. I liked this one.

B

Another clue when in the hair care dept: If you see a bald fellow trying out the hair brushes, chances are, he is a spanko!

Your idea of mentioning the KLSF sounds very good for sorting the sheep from the goats. But I'm afraid it's easier to win the lottery than to meet another reader by chance.

Mati, I don't know about that. There are a lot of readers in the LSF, and the lottery is like over a million to one. I'd put my money on another reader.

B

One of the problems is separating the spanko sub women from the ones who just like showing off their bums. I don't conclude that every girl/woman who's reacted to noticing a glance from me by suddenly finding she needs to tie up her trainer lace is a spanko. The former category is included in the latter but not necessarily vice versa.

As for signs, how about a bum per sticker?

Beth, You seem to have described my shopping habits down to a tee.

Funnily enough no-one has ever approached me and said "Spanked any good bums lately?"

In 70 years I've only encountered one of your examples; I have always enjoyed people watching and this incident occured many, many years ago in a super market.

A couple ahead of me were doing their shopping and I was about to pass them when the woman smacked her partner on the behind then leaned in and in a stage whisper said, "Just wait till we get home!" As I passed them I looked back, made eye contact with the guy and he blushed. I went on my way and never thought about it again untill I read your piece.

Now I wonder...

Nice article Beth

bill

LOL Fun article! Thanks for the spotting tips! Where I live in the Southeastern US, I spot a million more rednecks than spankos! --And I'm afraid Jeff Foxworthy has a lot more material to work with for his routine. :)

This article demonstrates the power of logic. Your "tricks" for detecting a spanko would just have to work, given the impeccable logic.

I LOVE IT!!! I especially like the questions that make up "Stage II" of the investigation.

Now... how can *I* post a symbol on my person that only a fellow spanko can recognize that I am a spanko? We need a secret sign. Perhaps it lies in the last method... a sweatshirt reading, "I read Kilahara... Do You??"

Mmm. Reminds me of passing a couple in the supermarket aisle a few years ago. The man was gently patting the woman's bottom under her slacks; she half turned & said to him very softly: "That still hurts." Then she gave one of those melting half-reproachful blushing smiles and said: "What will you think of next!" He looked like the cat that ate the cream. I had to 'silence the envy in my thought'...

Your story has given me something new to look for when I visit the supermarket, or Bed Bath and Beyond. Thanks!!!

That is a great story and by the response well received by the group, I have found myself checking out people in malls and stores, good fun.

Very amusing but I doubt I'd have the courage.

I admit there have been times when I dearly wished I had such a thing as 'spankdar.' And yet at the same time, knowing some of the thoughts that have gone through my head while I was out shopping, I'm a little concerned someone might have used these techniques on me!

How could I miss this the first time around? I recognize myself in both parts — as a spotter as well as a spottee.

Very good analysis with many helpful hints.

Hello Beth, very nice piece indeed. I have found myself doing exactly what you described. I'm not much of a hair brush guy but I have spent alot of time at the wooden cooking tools in cooking stores. Yes those wooden impliments are very very inviting and I do find myself going back more than once. Some stores have some nice wooden cutting boards of just the right size and if you're lucky, they might even have a handle. Hard to pass this up without making a purchase. Now for the men's belts, absolutely. I will look for the widest and the thickest. Then I will try and find a size 46 or so which is much longer than I would wear. However, it sure makes a nice crisp "snap" upon a deserving female bare bottom.

Spotted one working in my local Oxfam charity shop: a quiet middle aged lady purchased a large wooden spoon, prompting the female assistant to say loudly ''Mm-hmm and what are you going to use that for?'' The lady replied blandly''Oh, I'm sure I'll find something...''

I also saw a young girl in W H Smith a while back furtively looking through top shelf spanking novels

It is a wonderful pastime. Thanks for the helpful hints.

I always 'have to' walk through the section in the shop where plimsolls are on show as I have a kink for this punishment item!

Thank goodness for EBay is all I can say

Beth, there's another approach you might consider using. Hit yourself repeatedly on your tightly clad bottom in a grocery aisle and when someone stops to observe, simply whisper, "Out, damned spot." After all, wasn't it Lady Mac-BETH who did something like this? Guilt? Or a closet spanko?

Delightfully written and very amusing, if somewhat sobering, article - I had not realised I would be so easy to spot! In France the pet sections in large stores sell martinets - supposedly to be used for training dogs. I wonder how many purchasers actually have a dog.

Great post! I too look for spankos all of the time :)

Great post! Wish there was an app for that!

The other day in a restaurant parking lot or car park, on the rear bumper of a white BMW was a sticker which simply read SPANK ME, printed in the center of a small round paddle. Does it get any easier than that? Unfortunately I did not have any spare time to wait around and see who arrived with the car.

It seems that the supermarkets have an array of spanking implements. Now every corner I turn my bottom itches.

In an antique shop far from home I spotted an umbrella stand containing several canes. I should have loved to have bought stand and all, but several plane rides on my journey home made it impossible, and anyway what would I do with them when I got them there. I did go back several times and checked them out. There was no doubt about their use. They were all flexible, of different sizes and weights and shiny at the business ends. It was several years ago. I hope they are being put to good use.

Nice story Beth and I especially like the plug for this most excellent library!

I once bought a fiction paperback at an upscale bookstore related to our favorite subject. The pert, pretty, lady clerk looked at the back first to scan the barcode, then flipped it over. She turned red as a beet. It may have been her first day there.

A few years later I passed a very tall 40-something lady in a restaurant wearing a T-shirt that said: "Go To Your Room Naughty Boy!" (She was wearing a wedding ring)

Suffice to say that my OH frequently disowns me for all the reaons you have noticed!

To be fair (to me that is) one has to find some way of lightening up a trip to IKEA!

I always go round all the beach shops when on holiday looking for toys that we couldn't bring with us (because they are now varnished and have proper grip-tape handles and OH won't let me pack them).
Different when touring by car though. Heaven help us if we are ever involved in a crash!
Try asking the cobbler you have known all your life for some thin leather strips to hang your garden implements up with and see how he looks at you. He gave me about 20 and was cutting more.... Gosh I must have a lot of gardening tools!

Too bad we couldn't have a chip planted in in us that would set off each others phone when spankos were with in five foot of each other (smile) nice story Beth. I once bought a beautiful walnut antique hair brush that the bristles were worn out on when I handed it to the lady at the counter she took it by the handle smacked her hand a couple of times and smiled. That's a good one she said. Evidently she could tell, her smile got bigger as my face became redder.

I was shopping in Wall-Mart's food section when I spotted a large man with an ashen face. He was over 6'3" tall and broad shoulders. Wondering what was up I went around him and there was a much smaller woman with her purse open and a hair brush in her hand tapping it on the other one. Two young children were skipping ahead and enjoying the shopping trip. They made a turn and I attempted to stay with them to watch when another shopper cut me off. I never was able to find them in the store or the parking lot. Maybe they went into the family restroom. Maybe not. RK

What happened to me once was that me and my wife were sitting on a park bench next to an elderly lady when a young lad who had obviously upset his mother was grabbed by the arm an given a couple of slaps on the bottom and she said to him in a raised voice, when we get home it's the hairbrush for you on the bare bottom, and away she dragged him.
The elderly lady piped up with, now there's a mother who knows how to deal with naughty little boys, mind you from what I've seen in the world nowadays big boys and some men could do with a good old fashioned hairbrushing don't you think so?
My wife gave her a big grin and said, I certainly do, and looked at me, I admit to blushing profusely and got a chuckle from the lady and her passing comment as she got up to go was, it looks like she's got your number lad, and gave me a wink.

A really excellent article. I too have spent time searching for clues as to who among us feels the need to give or get a spanking. Very early in our marriage my young wife and I stopped in a tack shop for riding accessories. We asked openly if they had any riding crops. The owner never batted an eye and led us to a wonder-land of riding crops. We selected one perfectly suited for our needs and left the store all smiles.
I had the feeling that there might have been many town who frequented the shop.

Detective Beth has done her research, I believe.
I often take a look around those shops myself, but haven't really heard comments. One exception was when browsing in an antique store and asking about carpet beaters, then razor straps. I did when a strap and the middle aged lady who rand up my purchase said: "Ohh, I'll bet that would hurt." We both chuckled as I replied: "I'll bet so." Had I thought ahead I should have told her to keep one on hand in case both ladies caught shoplifters. I had other thoughts too.

Go to the Hofbrauhaus in Las Vegas and watch the men bending over the tables while the waitress paddles them, with lots of encouragement from the woman he is with. Sometimes there are groups of three or four couples and all the men get paddled. One time what I presume was the wife borrowed the paddle from the waitress and really went to work. He sat down very carefully.

Women get paddled as well but it is far far less common.

One time I stopped at an overlook and Yosemite and a couple I would guess in their forties approached their car. He opened the door for her and they exchanged a kiss. He turned around and she gave him a very solid swat on each cheek with her hand. Then she got in the car he closed the door and went around to the other side and off they went.

I love the light humor of this article. And all the comments add even more flavor to the experience of reading it!

Sadly, the ones you identified in the store were already a couple. The demonstration alone has to be a positive sign. Alternatively, I took careful notes of your other methodologies. Can't hurt to be vigilant. Thanks for a very fun read.

What I mainly came away with from this article: one better be very careful about jumping to any conclusions, even if the shopper is vigorously patting his palm with the flat back hairbrush, testing the spatula against his leg, or doubling over a men's leather belt before taking a good swing with it. Despite our natural impulses as spankos, stop a moment to think about just how embarrassing will it prove to be if you take that almost irresistible plunge by saying something to them and it turns out that you're dead wrong!