The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly
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Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking
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ASSessing a Spanking Story Learned literary critics define the essence of great fiction as being achieved through a precise and perfect balance of form, structure and language, these key elements fusing into an eclectic yet finely focused web of intertextual relationships designed to make us all well-read humanists. I would argue, however, that such a definition overlooks three elements even more essential to great fiction: a bottom, an implement and someone to ensure the two of them meet in a manner designed to make something equally well red. Tasked by the Editrix to address the thorny issue of how to ASSess a spanking story, I quailed at the thought of pontificating to the illustrious readers of WRW, whose numbers include so many excellent writers - including published professionals (see, for example, the interview in the first edition of WRW). Quailing never having got me anywhere, however, here goes ... What must a spanking story do? It must entertain, in the broadest sense: make us gasp, cry, laugh, blush and nod in recognition, but perhaps most importantly ... it must reach and heat those parts that other fictions don't. Who amongst us did not first come here in search of that sensually specific stimulation? And to entertain, it must hold our attention from start to finish with characters, setting and a plot that captivate and transport us. It must avoid unnecessary details, or readers will be scrolling down for the hot bits, and never mind who, where, how or why. It must also avoid the kind of implausibility that spoils whatever illusion it has set out to create. What must a spanking story have? To qualify for inclusion here in the LSF, a story must evoke the feelings associated with the application of something solid or slicey to a (preferably) luscious fleshy bottom. As many of us know, the eagle-eyed Library Staff have remarkable laser-vision for spotting Other Genres that try to sneak their way onto Our Hallowed Shelves with a token bolt-on spanking, when really such stories belong Elsewhere! I hesitate to insist that a spanking story must also have a reason or motive for its spanking; of course, most stories do, and that build-up is usually important to our enjoyment. It's just that Our Genre is so specific that, in the many thousands of examples collected here, it is not surprising to find every possible avenue (highway, road, boulevard, street, lane AND cul-de-sac) very thoroughly explored, and that includes the Utterly Pointless Spanking - because that too can be fun, done well. Let's face it: never in the field of human fantasy has so much been penned by so many to so naughtily light our fuse. What must a spanking story be? It must be imaginative; it must surprise a little. But, with almost 17,000 stories here alone at the time of writing, we cannot, surely, expect it to be original, can we? Consider this: latest estimates from the LSF Archivists suggest that over half a million wives, 415,000 schoolgirls, 328,000 husbands and 176,000 boys and girls have now been spanked in these shelves with 624,000 hands, 412,000 paddles, 369,000 canes, 197,000 hairbrushes and one wet fish, over innumerable laps, desks, chairs, sofa arms and pillows (innumerable because we haven't counted those yet). LSF writers were among the first in the developed world to foresee the Crisis of Global Capitalism in the devastating economic effects of naughty wives' maxed-out credit cards, of crashed cars and the mountains of shoplifted goods. It was we, long ago, who predicted the Fragmentation of Social Cohesion in the plague of non-regulation knickers sweeping our nations' schools, undermining the very fabric of ... etc. No. Originality, you would think, must be as hard to come by in the LSF as an apology from a pre-spanked brat. And yet, miraculously, new nuggets do emerge: not, admittedly, in the colour a bottom turns after Punishment Paddling number 412,001, or in the sound a hairbrush makes, or the nature of a spankee's cries (for how many ways are there to say 'CRACK' and 'OUCH'?), but ... characters, like humans, are unique, and the English language itself is an almost limitless mine of shafts and seams, all to be plundered for our pleasure, and sometimes, just sometimes, on your Latest page, or buried deep beneath the mysteries of the Browse button, you stumble across ... your perfect story. 29 comments
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