The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly


Wellred Weekly
Volume 1, Number 3 : December 10, 2011
 
Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking

ASSessing a Spanking Story
by TheEnglishMaster

Learned literary critics define the essence of great fiction as being achieved through a precise and perfect balance of form, structure and language, these key elements fusing into an eclectic yet finely focused web of intertextual relationships designed to make us all well-read humanists.

I would argue, however, that such a definition overlooks three elements even more essential to great fiction: a bottom, an implement and someone to ensure the two of them meet in a manner designed to make something equally well red.

Tasked by the Editrix to address the thorny issue of how to ASSess a spanking story, I quailed at the thought of pontificating to the illustrious readers of WRW, whose numbers include so many excellent writers - including published professionals (see, for example, the interview in the first edition of WRW). Quailing never having got me anywhere, however, here goes ...

What must a spanking story do?
It must entertain, in the broadest sense: make us gasp, cry, laugh, blush and nod in recognition, but perhaps most importantly ... it must reach and heat those parts that other fictions don't. Who amongst us did not first come here in search of that sensually specific stimulation?

And to entertain, it must hold our attention from start to finish with characters, setting and a plot that captivate and transport us. It must avoid unnecessary details, or readers will be scrolling down for the hot bits, and never mind who, where, how or why. It must also avoid the kind of implausibility that spoils whatever illusion it has set out to create.

What must a spanking story have?
To qualify for inclusion here in the LSF, a story must evoke the feelings associated with the application of something solid or slicey to a (preferably) luscious fleshy bottom. As many of us know, the eagle-eyed Library Staff have remarkable laser-vision for spotting Other Genres that try to sneak their way onto Our Hallowed Shelves with a token bolt-on spanking, when really such stories belong Elsewhere!

I hesitate to insist that a spanking story must also have a reason or motive for its spanking; of course, most stories do, and that build-up is usually important to our enjoyment. It's just that Our Genre is so specific that, in the many thousands of examples collected here, it is not surprising to find every possible avenue (highway, road, boulevard, street, lane AND cul-de-sac) very thoroughly explored, and that includes the Utterly Pointless Spanking - because that too can be fun, done well. Let's face it: never in the field of human fantasy has so much been penned by so many to so naughtily light our fuse.

What must a spanking story be?
It must be imaginative; it must surprise a little. But, with almost 17,000 stories here alone at the time of writing, we cannot, surely, expect it to be original, can we?

Consider this: latest estimates from the LSF Archivists suggest that over half a million wives, 415,000 schoolgirls, 328,000 husbands and 176,000 boys and girls have now been spanked in these shelves with 624,000 hands, 412,000 paddles, 369,000 canes, 197,000 hairbrushes and one wet fish, over innumerable laps, desks, chairs, sofa arms and pillows (innumerable because we haven't counted those yet).

LSF writers were among the first in the developed world to foresee the Crisis of Global Capitalism in the devastating economic effects of naughty wives' maxed-out credit cards, of crashed cars and the mountains of shoplifted goods. It was we, long ago, who predicted the Fragmentation of Social Cohesion in the plague of non-regulation knickers sweeping our nations' schools, undermining the very fabric of ... etc.

No. Originality, you would think, must be as hard to come by in the LSF as an apology from a pre-spanked brat. And yet, miraculously, new nuggets do emerge: not, admittedly, in the colour a bottom turns after Punishment Paddling number 412,001, or in the sound a hairbrush makes, or the nature of a spankee's cries (for how many ways are there to say 'CRACK' and 'OUCH'?), but ... characters, like humans, are unique, and the English language itself is an almost limitless mine of shafts and seams, all to be plundered for our pleasure, and sometimes, just sometimes, on your Latest page, or buried deep beneath the mysteries of the Browse button, you stumble across ... your perfect story.
 
29 comments:
Miss_Naughty said...
I love the article but from a personal perspective, I feel the need for it to drill down a little further.

As a new writer, I have found it very daunting to submit stories to the libary for fear of not being good enough but hope that with more writing I'll improve.

Having read numerous spanking tales it is soon easy to discover what you personally enjoy and of course appreciate well written pieces.

I must confess I don't really understand what constitutes unnessary detail. I'm not a person who scrolls downs to the inevitable moment, I love all the detail and build up to the moment of contact.

Perhaps it would be useful to new writers to have a specific guideline and tips as to how the readers expect to have a story displayed etc. As for serials that's another matter, where on earth do you start with something like a 38 parter?

It would be so lovely if those with experience could share their knowldge with those of us who aren't, in order for us novices to try and emulate the fine authors here.

Sadly my local college doesn't run spanking literature courses otherwise I'd be there in a shot.

The bottom line, so to speak, is that it's all subjective.
10 December 2011 00:01
sugarmouse said...
Only the one wet fish?

I actually came to the site looking for stories that would warm places that other reads didn't touch, but to my utter delight I also found the most delicious humour!

My undying gratitude to each and every writer that is brave enough to have their stories on this site. I truly believe there is something here for every spanko!
10 December 2011 01:15
Seegee said...
I was at first scared to post my stories because I thought they weren't good enough or were too long, but once I posted one people were so appreciative that I just kept on writing and it is people like our esteemed author here that keep me writing.
10 December 2011 03:24
bendover said...
Great article. I agree. I try to do as much as I can to please everyone at LSF. They take the time to read my stories, then they deserve my attention to their needs.

B
10 December 2011 20:40
KJM said...
Difficult task. Beside producing great prose we are expected to warm certain unmentionable readers' places?

I think that TEM discovered an important point in his illustrious article: we should establish a prize for the author who will use a never previously used implement to spank those juicy above mentioned bottoms.
11 December 2011 03:25
islandcarol said...
Great set of guidelines, English. Your guidelines and good advice lend courage and confidence to the meek and mild.
let me count the ways
let's see: well organized
clearly stated
full of good humor
fun to read.

and a little naughty.
Great piece
A+
11 December 2011 04:17
Janine said...
Witty and clever as always, TEM. These guidelines are immeasurably helpful to both experienced and novice writers alike. I can only imagine the painstaking research that went into culling those statistics (and are you SURE that it's only 1 wet fish and not 2??)

Great article! Thanks for keeping us enthusiastic followers of the library well-read and of course, well-red...
12 December 2011 14:46
mati said...
So true and so funny. Just great.
12 December 2011 21:23
barretthunter said...
And how many policewomen?

Shafts and seams, drilling down...Sigmund, art thou waking there below?

On detail - I think it depends on relevance and atmosphere. It can be like a murder story which the reader knows full well is a murder story, so suspense builds up - who's going to get murdered, and how? Or it can be bleedin' obvious who's going to be spanked, but not at all obvious by whom or in what circumstances. This can be effective.

I remember my school French teacher saying that if "cul de sac" meant anything in French, it would be "baggy bottom"!
13 December 2011 12:06
opb said...
Ollie rushes off to use the "Find and Replace All " word processor function on his pending story to change the word 'cane' to 'wet fish'

On a less serious note it was a good article, and we would be fools if we thought that with such a huge diversity of readers we could please any more than a small percentage of them.

As a word of encouragement to those who think that their writing isn't good enough I would say that we only improve with practice, we all have a piece in our ouvre which we are dissatisfied with and the trick is just to accept it and try not to let that thought defeat us.

13 December 2011 14:39
PinkAngel said...
Great article and I love those stats :)
15 December 2011 19:12
Sebastian said...
This was some article on the writing of a spanking story. You seem to have it all together with what is needed and also, what was already written. Good job.
3 June 2012 04:56
LaPetitePeche said...
Another ASStonishingly good piece from the mASSter! Thanks TEM, another mASSterpiece... but that's what we've all come to expect from you!
4 June 2012 16:52
swishswitch said...
A most erudite discourse but sadly noone got spanked !! Unusual from TEM.
9 June 2012 11:45
BrianWilkes said...
The crisis of global capitalism? Very apt, I prognosticate that the next step will be a bum's rush:) I'm evidently not the only person here who appreciates a bit of a guide for writing these delightful vignettes. Thanks for the words of wisdom.
10 June 2012 18:52
voyeur said...
I think the style suggestions are very good!

Le me add that what floats my boat is spanking with a likelihood of sex, along with a willing surrender by the spankee, at least in the beginning of the matter.
11 June 2012 05:21
jojothehobo said...
Good article It is sometimes hard to find well written stories such as those found here, and the author does a good job of describing why
24 August 2012 11:41
tribemen said...
Has the "PERFECT" story ever been written?
Thanks for the advice.

JCP.
21 February 2013 19:47
sophie said...
The "PERFECT" story can never be written.
22 February 2013 19:36
opb said...
As we are all different, and all require different things from a story, the concept of the "PERFECT" story is deeply subjective.

One place ( plaice? ) to start looking for this chimera might be the Story of the Day.
I've suggested some of my favourites for this, and yet there are still stories which I rate equally highly if not above those I have read here which are not on these shelves.
25 February 2013 10:10
yenz said...
I would not advise anybody to write a spanking story, that starts with the spanking and goes on with the reasons why and all the past history. A story about a murder could be done in that order. But like an illusionist, who surprises the audience by making us concentrate on his hat, so that we forget looking at his hands; so in this library it is fair to use a few lines to make the reader look in another direction, and in this way surprise us.
2 March 2013 15:43
catmama said...
Such a humorous and well written explanation of how to write a spanking story. If you taught with as much clarity and humor as you write, you had very lucky and satisfied students indeed.
27 September 2013 22:34
catharsis said...
(with tongue firmly in cheek... no, the OTHER one... get your mind out of...)

It has been said (translation... "I think...") that to truly understand something, you must know it so well that you can program a computer to do it.

So I am valiantly trying to train my SONY VAIO to write spanking stories. I have a template with a title, beginning, middle, and end, I have a dictionary of important spanking terms (so my story does not become a tutorial on how to bake a souffle instead), I have a language model (so that words are strung together in some sensible order), and I have a Markov randomizer (to generate stories that are different).

But I realize that there are more READERS of spanking stories here than writers. So I am training my Windows Surface Pro PC / tablet to READ spanking stories, and if I get really good, to generate a comment!

Once I have perfected both of these, we can turn them on, let them loose here to write and read all the spanking stories, and we can free ourselves for other pursuits, such as making souffles!
29 September 2013 06:36
Malcatraz said...
Wonderful humor and great advice not only from the author but also the commenters. God, I love this web site
4 October 2013 08:55
blimp said...
A purrfectly amusing commentary on how to ass-ess a spanking story. Wet fish whatever next? Must have been a Sting-ray!!
18 October 2013 00:00
Bohemond said...
If people still don't know what makes a great story there's no shortage of them here, not least by the English Master.
20 October 2013 17:24
knaps25 said...
Very wittily and knowingly written, TEM! I already admired your comments on other authors, getting even a little envious, because you met with your remarks exactly the target, I would have refered to - and, of course, your words are infinitely more elaborate. I would like to read some learned literary criticism on spanking verse - a genre by far not reflected as thoroughly as it merits.
20 February 2014 12:42
Guy said...
Yes, originality can be a rare thing in our genre, but it happens! When I find it in someone's story, it's wonderful. But when I manage to create it, it's (at least to me) priceless.
17 July 2015 02:02
transmanspankee said...
This is an interesting read as an author, and made me consider my own work. I think the problem with not giving "unnecessary detail" is that what constitutes such will vary from person to person. Some come here, skip the set-up, and just read the spanking scene. Some love the story and the spankings feel secondary. Ultimately a spanking story will never please all, so I enjoy when people approach it from an unusual perspective, especially if said unusual perspective pleases ME!
11 October 2023 16:27

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