The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly
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Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking
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Interview with a Pro-Domme: Lady Pandora What prompted your career choice?  I've been a lifestyle Disciplinarian/Domme for some 30 years. Around twelve years ago, I was becoming very disillusioned with my career in the "caring professions" and was fed up with not being able to change things that sorely needed changing; I was also getting to the point of burning out. I spoke to friends and they basically said that they thought I should try my hand at being a professional Disciplinarian, seeing as it was something I did naturally all the time and was how I lived my life. I did some research and the rest, as they say, is history.And - are you only in it for the money? (Laughing) No, not at all. In fact I took a large pay cut in order to do this. Anyone who thinks they're going to become a millionaire is sorely mistaken. I don't see myself as materialistic and, so long as I have the basics and earn enough to pay my bills, I'm happy. I have the best job in the world, I get to meet some extremely interesting people and I have lots of fun. That, to me, is what matters most. To me, people who do it just for the money are insulting the clients who have genuine needs.How easy was it to break into the business? For me it was very easy as I already had a large circle of acquaintances. It required some thought and research and I set up at my home with only a small amount of kit.What obstacles did you have to overcome? The main obstacle was deciding precisely what services I felt comfortable providing, the image I wanted to portray and working out how to make a website!How long have you been in in the business? I've been a professional Disciplinarian for 12 years now and fully intend to remain this way until I can no longer wield a cane.How would you define a professional dominatrix?  Firstly, I would say that a professional Dominatrix and professional Disciplinarian generally deal with two separate clienteles. Whereas a Dominatrix may well cater for people who enjoy CP, she won't usually have the same premises as a Discplinarian; as in a Discplinarian will be able to cater for most CP scenarios outside of a dungeon environment. That is not to say that there aren't Dominatrices who are very skilled at CP.I would define both as providing a service that is tailored to the individual in a safe, appropriate environment. They are usually well equipped and knowledgeable wth regard to providing the best experience according to the client's tastes and requirements. They tend to be empathic, perceptive people and should have a knowledge of body language, hygiene and a basic knowledge of first aid. A Pro-Domme should also have at least a basic comprehension of D/s and the mindsets involved. Any form of domination is at least 90% cerebral and, if you don't get the person into the right mindset, it won't work no matter what you do. Being a Pro-Domme means taking responsibility for the health, safety and well-being of a client. It is hard work psychologically as you have to be in control of all aspects, as well as ensuring that the clients get precisely what they need. What sort of clients do you get? One of the things I enjoy most is the wide variety of clients. I see people from every background and every walk of life and find this very interesting. I am also very fortunate in that I see quite a few ladies on a professional basis. Some come alone and some come with their partners. Some come to receive CP, some come to learn (or their partner learns) how to administer effective CP and try out the different implements. Obviously my client base is predominantly male, but I do have quite a few ladies in there.Do you give your clients a safeword? No I don't. People visit me to give up control for a set amount of time. A safeword would rather defeat the object by giving them ultimate control.How do you manage your own personal safety whilst working? I have a rather large, scary dog! In addition, my own demeanour does not invite people to "try their luck" and I'm quite capable of sorting out most situations. I think the best safety precaution is learning to listen to people on the telephone and in emails - you get a certain vibe from people and I always trust my first instinct. I don't accept just anyone as a client and have been known to turn down quite a few applications because something hasn't quite felt "right".Do you switch and take the submissive/bottom role? Do you like to be spanked? No I don't switch, although I have enjoyed a light spanking on occasion. I've also tried all of my implements - how else would I know how to use them properly and safely.I personally don't see how people can genuinely switch their whole mindset in a couple of minutes and this detracts from the "realness" for me - it becomes a role-play and that isn't what my clients want. They see me because I am naturally dominant. Do you make more money that you would in a 'regular' job? I make enough money to pay my bills and I'm happy with that. I could earn a lot more in a "regular" job but I wouldn't get the same satisfaction. Anyone thinking it's easy money is fooling themselves; there is a lot more to it than bending someone over and spanking them! Equipment can be expensive too and it's something I add to regularly.Do you get a lot of repeat business? Yes I do and I take this as a huge compliment as well as confirmation that I'm doing something right. It's one of my benchmarks by which I measure the service I provide.Do you and the client evaluate how the session went afterwards? Yes, I always sit down and have a cup of tea and a biscuit with the client; not only for evaluation purposes, but also to ensure they are fully recovered and fit to go back out into the world, particularly if they're driving.It's often too soon to evaluate a session immediately afterwards and I look forward to follow-up emails and phone calls in the ensuing few days which allow me to assess the session's success as well as make notes for future meetings. Do you think of yourself as an entertainer, a therapist, something different? I think of myself as fortunate enough to do what I love most at the same time as giving people what they need. I am a qualified therapist and I do quite a bit of counselling in my meetings with people. My tax return describes me as a role-play therapist and I think that's the most accurate I can get. I'm me, I do things my way, what more can I say.Do your friends and family know what you do for a living? Yes they do, I am completely open about who and what I am which, seeing as I have been outed twice, is just as well! All of my friends approve and most of my family do. At the end of the day, it's my life and I shall live it how I see fit. If people don't approve then that's their problem.What is in your collection of implements? Any favourites?  In a CP context, I have many implements that I have built up over the years. I have hair brushes, slippers, plimsolls, straps, tawses, belts, birches (depending on the time of year), crops and canes as well as a few 'specialised' implements including a cat o' nine tails and a synthetic sjambok.I have too many implements to have a favourite as I use them all, but I suppose my half-bark Malacca, which I use for judicial canings, does have a special place. I also have some very special items that have been given to me, including a Teardrop Malacca with silver bands which date the cane at just over 100 years old. It was used by the Grandfather of the gentleman who gave it to me - Grandfather was a Headmaster and it was his favourite cane. Another very special item is my real Lochgelly tawse, which was another present and came from an antique shop in Scotland. What kind of spanking/CP services do you provide? I provide traditional, English-style punishments, so no wooden paddles. I love OTK and have been told I have a very hard hand! I'm happy to play with or without role-plays.What is your favourite spanking/CP role play scenario? Oh dear, I don't really have one. The most commonly asked-for are Auntie, Headmistress and Judicial. So long as I'm playing, I'm happy.Were you spanked as a child? Yes, frequently and I'm glad of it. I believe that everyone needs discipline - not only physical. When we were young, we had someone who cared enough to teach us right from wrong and to ensure we paid the price if we crossed the line; then we could move forward with a clean slate having learned a lesson. Much healthier than all the guilt trips people seem to inflict these days.Do you think your job affects you psychologically? No I don't think so because it's not an act. I don't put on a different persona when playing, I just exaggerate it a bit. I'm a naturally dominant (and opinionated) person and I like to think that I'm quite down-to-earth.Does domination/S&M extend to your personal relationships? Yes, absolutely, even when I don't intend it to. I've been a lifestyler for some 30 years so it's an inherent part of all my relationships.Do you have any tips for aspiring Pro-Dommes?  Think very carefully before taking the step. Don't get carried away and believe your own hype. Make friends with other Pro-Dommes who are, after all, your peer group and your support group. Ensure that you have suitable premises and the basic kit you will need before you start advertising, taking bookings, etc. Think about what you are and aren't comfortable with providing and stick to it. Make sure you know how to use your implements and ensure that you can read body language and know basic first aid. Do your own website - handing it to someone who has approached offering help is the surest way to disaster as they will undoubtedly run off with your passwords if you have a fall-out. Make sure that this is something that you genuinely enjoy and that you are naturally suited to the role you are undertaking. Clients aren't stupid and they won't come back if they feel you're only doing it for money.Any regrets in your chosen career? Only that I didn't start back in my late 20s! 16 comments:
bendover said...
I like this part: Yes, I always sit down and have a cup of tea and a biscuit with the client; not only for evaluation purposes, but also to ensure they are fully recovered and fit to go back out into the world, particularly if they're driving. This is the mark of a true professional and one who takes precautions with herself and her clients. B 10 December 2011 20:45
islandcarol said...
This is one career I never considered; what a very interesting interview. I've have a picture of a disciplinarian in my mind and she does not look like Lady Pandora. It's funny how we fantasize using her services, or imitating her, yet do not consider the serious, safety side of the profession. I admire individuals who have the instincts and skill to do this job successfully. Well done. 11 December 2011 04:41
Janine said...
Quite professional and competent pro Domme. Fascinating and interesting interview. Thank you for sharing your insights! 12 December 2011 15:08
blimp said...
Good and very enlightening interview. I often used to think about going to a professional dominatrix never did though. I like the idea of tea and biscuits. 12 December 2011 22:55
Sebastian said...
Are you ever worried that your client might have a medical problem that might be a problem during one of your sessions? A person could have a heart attack or a stroke. 13 December 2011 04:25
TheEnglishMaster said...
Excellent interview with an impressively open and clearly very professional woman. The popular image often neglects the therapeutic side of things. Long Live Lady Pandora! 13 December 2011 18:57
corncrake said...
I read this very competent interview with great interest. As has been said, it was a most forthright interview and I am full of admiration at the professionalism of the subject. 3 June 2012 20:00
rachael said...
(Um, isn't this just an advert...?) To be fair it was very interesting although visiting this lady isn't in my plans. I only had a vague idea that there are people like Pandora who do it for money (as opposed to simply doing it for a bit of fun.) She sounds perfectly sane and I am sure that what she offers is really welcomed by a lot of people, so good luck to her. She did sound just a little bit bossy and self praising but hey I suppose that goes with the job!! 5 June 2012 13:27
harderplease said...
It is great to see you here Lady Pandora. When I was visiting England a few years ago I had a delightful time getting my first caning from Lady Pandora. She is a great disciplinarian. 7 June 2012 16:54
CarolinaPaddler said...
It was nice to see that although men and women seeking out these services are divided by an ocean there is a cache of talented, creative dedicated professionals who carry out spankings and this professional woman is one of them. 9 June 2012 02:02
thos1729 said...
A very thorough interview. Wish I could get to England for a taste of the tawse. For now it's on the bucket list. 27 March 2013 19:04
redstar said...
I visited this lady once and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Pityy she lives so far away from me or I'd be a regular visitor. But I can recommend her: a very nice lady who administers a sound spanking. 19 April 2013 16:33
wooz1111 said...
Realizing that not all bodies are beautiful and young, I would think it could be a bit of a drag dealing with the otherwise more often than not. Takes someone special I suppose ... 7 February 2016 18:37
Hardwood said...
Very interesting and informative. 29 October 2016 05:19
Often123 said...
This was rather informative on several levels. Thank you for posting it. Just as there are many types of clients, and reasons to see a professional, there are many types of pros who offer a number of scenarios. Lady Pandora sounds quite skilled. 14 January 2017 22:09
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If one can do work that they love to do then their whole life is better and their life is much happier. I would say in reading her answers she has found the job she loves and benefits greatly by doing it.