The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly


Wellred Weekly
Volume 1, Number 7 : April 27, 2012
 
Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking

Is Domestic Discipline Abuse?
by Sarah Thorne

More arrogance.

Only this isn't within the spanko community.

I should have known better, really, than to do what I did. It's never come to any good before, and only left me pissed off and incited to rant. People, even well meaning people, are inclined to believe what they will based on misinformation. It has always irritated me, whether it be in the criminal justice system or in medicine when 'professionals' analyze and dissect something which they do not fully understand, and then declare it as truth because it is the only way that they can make any sense of it.

Yes, I realize the value behind doing such. I do it myself. In the case of criminal justice, often one is dealing with a warped and tainted thought process. If one does not actually have such a thought process, one will never fully understand the intents and motives behind certain criminal acts regardless of how much training one has had. One is still using 'normal' thought patterns to try and understand abnormal ones and therefore will never be able to say with certainty that the hypothesis they have created is absolute.

What in the world am I talking about, you wonder?

I made the mistake of googling DD, wanting to see what someone who did not know the acronym would come across if they stumbled upon it and decided to investigate in the way that many of us do when sitting at the computer.

Funny, simply putting in "what does DD stand for?" did not bring up any references to Domestic Discipline.

So, I plugged in Domestic Discipline.

I've done this before, and been met with the analysis from the outside of those trying to make sense of why someone would choose DD as a relationship choice. Many attempt to not overtly link it with domestic violence, but in essence, it is exactly what most of them believe it is. The woman submits to the treatment under some misguided notion that she is supposed to based on her mis-interpretation of her role, whether it be religious or biological. A Head Of Household relationship leads to abuse of power, and therefore abuse of the wife in this situation. Women who 'consent' to it are weak, unable to make decisions and lack the desire to take responsibility for their life and actions. They suffer from "co-dependency", which is the only plausible explanation for someone to "choose" to live in such a dynamic. (They must, of course, have an explanation for the "consent" part in order to lump it in with true domestic abuse which is non-consensual, and being mentally unsound seems to be the most common one.)

Anyone who knows me will tell you that the description above -- co-dependent, unable to make decisions or take responsibility for my life -- is so far removed from what I am that it is laughable. Many of the women I know who have subscribed to a DD relationship are also very capable, mentally healthy people. (I can think of three right off the bat who are in the Psychiatric/Medical field). They know exactly what it is they have gotten themselves into and have not done so under the belief that they are incapable of controlling their own lives. While they are submissive partners in their relationship, this does not mean that they are inferior or accepting of behavior which they feel is harmful to themselves.

If any of these outsiders actually took the time to study this in depth, and without an already pre-conceived conclusion of what they are looking at, then that would be clear.

Like with many concepts and ideas, there will be and are unhealthy instances of it. Yes, it is true that there are people who misinterpret what they are supposed to be and follow it regardless of how they feel about it deep down. There are men who will abuse their perceived authority, and use their "power" to push down their partner rather than lift them up and use DD as a justification. This does not mean that all relationships are like this, or that the women who choose the lifestyle are co-dependent and weak. As a matter of fact, many are very strong women, who are aptly able to assert themselves in all walks of life and go after what it is that brings them peace and harmony without apology.

One piece I read ended with "if you are in a DD relationship, please contact a medical professional immediately in order to understand your options, and to receive help in how to overcome your abusive relationship."

Arrogance, indeed!

I have never been more cared for, more loved, more considered, more lifted up, more encouraged, more accepted, or happier than I have been in my relationship.

And I have been in an abusive relationship in the past. I know what it is. I know what it feels like. I know what it does to someone.

This isn't it.






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