The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly


Wellred Weekly
Volume 1, Number 6 : March 23, 2012
 
Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking

One Word is Worth a Thousand Pictures
by Dr Keate

I want to write a little about the vital touch that can turn a strong spanking story into a great story you can't get out of your mind because it nails a particular situation or feeling for ever. That touch is perfectly chosen dialogue.

This is how Hilaire Belloc describes, or rather doesn't describe, the feelings of Jim, who was eaten by a lion:
"Now, just imagine how it feels
When first your toes and then your heels,
And then by gradual degrees
Your shins and ankles, calves and knees,
Are slowly eaten, bit by bit.
No wonder Jim detested it!"

Now swap the teeth and claws of a lion for a hairbrush or a cane, and keep the 'gradual degrees' but have them refer to the punishment queue, then the scolding, then the baring, the increasing intensity of punishment, and so on, and what Belloc is conveying is essentially the same as we try to convey using the core ingredients of most spanking stories, particularly of the crushing, usually highly non-consensual kind I like to write. I'll leave that wonderful word 'detested' for later.

I don't want to be invidious, or single out particular authors, but it's quickest to give just one clear outstanding example of what I mean by using dialogue to nail a feeling or situation. There's a story in the library (Back To School) in which DJ Black describes a punishment queue outside a master's study. Girl after girl goes in to be caned, the tension mounts, one of the girls isn't who she appears to be, etc blah blah. It's well written, the characters are (very) well developed, but that's true of many, many stories in this fantastic library.

Then the study door opens, and the most recently caned girl comes out. "That was beastly!" she says. That's all she says, and off she goes. (I'm deliberately writing from memory, to stay with the deep impression the story left on me). It's barely dialogue at all; she's saying it to herself, as an expression of her feelings, as much as to her comrades awaiting their turns to be on intimate terms with Mr Rattan.

But those three simple words, for me, illuminate the whole story like a flash of lightning. They represent an emotional and human truth that makes the story great, and they do it with the least possible expenditure of words used for descriptions for the maximum payoff. And here's how it works, for me.

It's that word 'beastly'. This may only work if you're British (I'll come to that) but 'beastly' immediately opens a door into who this young woman is: an upper middle class girl at a girls' public school, somewhere (emotionally) before the late 60s. Heroines from Angela Brazil's, Enid Blyton's or Philip Larkin's school stories would instantly recognise her as one of their own. And being who she is, her code of honour is already implied: stiff upper lip, don't peach (US: fink/rat?) on another girl, take your medicine when you've earned it. And that code of honour will very definitely include British understatement.

Back to Belloc. 'Detested' is such a great word to describe the feelings of a boy having one of the worst experiences you can imagine a human being, let alone a child, suffering because we normally use it to say things like: "I detest blue cheese, it tastes like soap," or, "I detest that Paris Hilton, who does she think she is, she ought to have her-" etc. Because it's almost comically inappropriate, it only shows the more just how unspeakably awful and vile it is to be eaten alive. And I've already used too many words there, this isn't easy! It forces us to do the work, and we grasp at the edges of horrors we can't bear to contemplate and shudder. Just as we (or at least I) do when we contemplate having to wait in line to be caned...

So when she tells her comrades that it was beastly, she means, and they know, that it was horrible beyond words. The reader is given an idea to ferment inside her or his head, while the other girls are given something rather more pressing to think about, particularly the next one in line. So it is dialogue, because a message has been passed about just what it's going to be like on the other side of that door. And it's been passed in just three words. No raised crimson welts, no uncontrollable sobbing, no lengthy scolding or threats. That's why I admire this use of dialogue so much. If - and it's a big if - I have a fault, it's that I do go on a bit. I wish I could do this.

And it tells us yet more about her character, and how she's placed. She's admirably brave. 'Beastly' - a young woman's word. She's a schoolgirl, yes, but she's on the very cusp of young womanhood, with a developed sense of who she is and where she's going and all the wonders life has in store, and suddenly, there she is, despite all that, nothing but a schoolgirl under the authority of the cane. Now she's in great pain, she's been humiliated by, and in front of, male authority, she has to come out to face her fellow miscreants, and all she says is: That was beastly. You can hear the tremor of tearful disgust in her voice, which nonetheless remains under control. The reader is taken back to the turmoil of their own teens, when they were neither one thing nor the other, and many of the major humiliations of their lives are likely to have happened then.

One downside of dialogue as focussed as this is that it's very culturally specific. But frankly, who cares? There are going to be, for instance, American examples of brilliant dialogue that I'm not going to get because I don't get the references or the context, but then by the same token there are going to be great scenes that suddenly lose some of their power for me because the lady is made to take her knickers off rather than taking her knickers down. (Fetishists picky? Who knew?) I'm not going to complain about that (very often) because I'm not expecting anyone else to have a telepathic hotline to what turns me on, and I think it's the same with this.

I'm sorry if this reads just as an extended comment but I think what this one example illustrates is the power of simple speech, perfectly chosen, to reveal character and make a situation come alive. Because it's not telling, it's showing. And that's the key. You set the scene, you put the people into it, you wind them up, and off they go down some version of the grooves we like; but if they suddenly find words that reveal their emotional reality to the reader, you've got something special. Instead of: "She flushed scarlet with shame" etc, she shows you her shame in what she says. It's like the crucial brushstroke that animates a painting, gives it energy and truth. This is what it must really be like to be a schoolgirl in trouble!
 
11 comments:
bendover said...
I can see the point to what is being said here in one small area. The knickers down and off thing.

the lady is made to take her knickers off rather than taking her knickers down.

Pants and underwear, pants and panties/knickers around the ankles or at the knees are what catch my eye in a story just as well. I'm not a big fan of total nudity. I don't see the point other than humiliation. However, the pants and undies down isn't humiliating enough?

The small blurb of dialogue mentioned is another key. It can be only three words just as in the article. The descriptive data and the dialogue coming together make me actually see what I call 'A Mind's Eye View' of what is about to happen and what IS happening. I gobble these stories down.

Well done and entertaining. A lot of my thoughts exactly.

B
23 March 2012 02:31
canadianspankee said...
I would agree with a lot of what the writer says. There are lines of dialogue or even descriptions in various stories of mine and many others where those few words or sentances are what sticks in ones mind. Sometimes I know I have read a sentance or a paragraph that I want to re-read but darned if I can recall the story, only those few sentances or even a few words.

The way things are said over in North America compared to across the ocean, will of course put a different spin on things and sometimes one has to figure out what if meant before getting the sense of it. This can monentarly spoil the effect but after one knows what is meant and re-reads that part it can still have an effect. I must admit though the first-time read is usually more effective.

I still have trouble with dialogue at times, and my own opinions influences the way I write it. For example, in my personal life I swear maybe 6 times a year if that, but in my stories likely some of the characters would swear but I cannot bring myself to let them do it. I think I have lost some effect in some stories for that reason.

Overall a very good article and it causes one to think about how and why one writes the way they do. Great job.
23 March 2012 04:26
blimp said...
I do so agree with you about that word "beastly". It conjures up a world of navy blue knickers and jolly games of hockey. Very evocative! Jacqueline Scott does it in her schoolgirl stories and of course as you mention, Phillip Larkin! Great poet too, shame he never wrote more of those excellent schoolgirl stories.
23 March 2012 12:24
Alef said...
A very nice piece of close reading. Occasionally one comes across a line or a sentence that seems to say more than a thousand words, and it is often hard to know whether it is just because it hits us at the right time from the perfect angle, or because it is intrinsically great. You have made a good case for this story, and I shall definitely have to take a look at it.
23 March 2012 16:13
TheEnglishMaster said...
Thank you - an erudite article.You are so right about the power of aptly placed dialogue and that example was an excellent one.
23 March 2012 21:39
Sebastian said...
Good article. The power of dialogue, especially dialogue with great detail, is everything. It will put you into the scene. But timing with this dialogue is so important.
24 March 2012 04:02
islandcarol said...
I agree, writing dialog is a demanding art, especially if want to drop hints to the reader regarding the characters thoughts but do not want to spell it all out leaving no doubt in the reader's mind.
I sometimes get a little lost with dialog carried on with a particulat "accent". I generally get the action, but miss the subtle effect. So, many of us do have a slight disadvantage as readers and writers. But in the end, one opens up the comments portion after a good read and finds a dozen comments and the same number of interpretations. And isn't it wonderful when they are all different and results in a serious discussion?.
Your article has lots of layers, Doc. And look at the variety of comments you have inspired.
Well done.
24 March 2012 09:14
Linda said...
Excellent article. 'Beastly' does indeed place the girl in a particular class and time, as does 'horrid', 'super' and 'I say!'

Well done.

25 March 2012 19:23
KJM said...
Language is very powerful as your article rightly points out and it’s a pity that teen dialogue today is restricted to expletives and endless repeating of words like “like”, besides slang expressions completely incomprehensive to people above and below their very narrow age bracket and outside their ethnic and local groups.
27 March 2012 19:05
barretthunter said...
A brilliant exposition, my dear Doctor. Dialogue is so important.

I agree with everything the comments have said about "beastly". One further snippet is that while as you say the word conveys English understatement - normally a muddy cross-country run or a mean comment would be "beastly" - it actually means in its origin "belonging to beasts" and is allied to "bestial", so it's understatement adapted from overstatement. Another - imagine the force with which that percussive B is pronounced and the hiss of the S!
2 April 2012 10:42
jasmal69 said...
Very well written. I enjoyed the perspective
13 June 2012 14:17

You need to sign in if you wish to make a comment
    


  Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13