Gosh, that all sounds shocking and quite scary.

It sounds to me that Sarah Thorne's safety message in the WRW no. 6 should have been read carefully. Spanking is one thing, but beating someone senseless and without mercy or good judgement is animalistic.

People are sometimes all too trusting in nature. It's like giving a stranger your credit card after they promise to be right back.

B

That is an awful experience.
I know how it feels to be abused like that so my heart always goes out to the victims.

In my case, several years ago, I was very green and had never been even spanked before.

I trusted the man. He seemed really "nice".
I thought I had followed all the correct procedures and insisted of a safe word.
I, stupidly, allowed him to tie me up, as I trusted him.
He caned the living daylights out of me and totally disregarded my safe word!
His reason? He thought I could take more.
I had no choice then as I could not get away.
I was black and blue for weeks after that and it was not a pleasant experience at all.

Fortunately I came out of the experience mentally unscathed but it could have put me off TTWD for life!

I had been taught, however, to be wiser and am far more sensible now.
I was fortunate to meet someone wonderful soon after, and that built my confidence up again.

I am still not into bondage, even with full trust as memory flashes come back and it spoils the interaction.

What a dreadful experience! Thank you for sharing though, if reading this makes even one person make a different decision then brilliant. I completely understand why you felt you had to go through with it despite your reservations and I bet he knew that also :/

Wow. Now that's what you call a bad scene. I feel for women who have had this experience and as a guy it makes me angry that other guys do this.

This situation was terrible. This guy seemed like an outright sadist. One has to be so careful. I feel sorry for a women that has a bad experience. There has to be mutual trust with each other. In my situation, so and easy, regardless of what a woman wants. Only when a couple have gotten to know what the other can take, when experiments can be given.

Thanks for sharing your experience - painful in more ways than one. I am always surprised at how clueless people can be. I have a friend who's always been upfront about her aversion to belts (some psychological thing not related to an experience), who met someone who then decided (without consulting her) she needed to learn to take a belt. needless to say, that was a last-time experience as well. I guess it keeps happening, as malaika's experience also shows. Anyway, I enjoyed the article.

What a great article Erica; it's an excellent warning to all women to be sensible and cautious before allowing a stranger to spank or to use restraints. Too many of us think we can trust a stranger after a short interview. I shutter what might have happened.
IC

Quite shocking: makes me ashamed to learn there are men about who can behave as stupidly and as brutally as this.

I agree patxi, but there are women out there who can be just as mentally, physically, and verbally abusive to both men and other women. It's all about getting to know someone inside and out before jumping on board.

Erica, I'm glad you got it straight. I should have mentioned that in my first comment. Be careful out there.

B

All well said above about this guy and saying he is clueless is being awfully kind. I wish you would have said to him, "You need to know what it feels like" and after he was bent over swung as far back and as hard forward as you could about a half dozen. Kind of like judo: "Understand now?" Ah, I thought so. Frat paddles are primarily for show, not for use, because of the serious tissue damage they do when swung with any strength. There have been more than a few criminal charges on American campuses over the past several decades. The upside is how strong and resilient and positive you have been about yourself in all this. You have my sympathy for what happened but also my admiration for your ability to deal with it and continue on.

Tom, you're so right. The problem with a lot of these relationships is that the 'spanker/dominant one' has no idea what it feels like. In order to do it right and do it safely, one must know both sides of the coin as they say. The Pain and The Pleasure.

Well put.

B

That's really horrible and sadly not the first time I've heard this kind of thing. There are some people out there who are so clueless or, even worse, terribly dangerous. Maybe she should have got him to meet in the company ofmother spankos before trusting to play privately, but that's easier said than done.

I can certainly see how a particularly bad experience could lead to the particular implement that was used being avoided in future. Personally, I see being struck repeatedly with a large, solid block of wood with any degree of force as something other than spanking. I also think any spanker who appears more interested in what they want than what the spankee wants, or hasn't even bothered to ask, should be avoided at all costs. A thought-provoking article.

A good article and an important message.
Remember: SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL.
Feel the same way about frat paddles. Those things are like clubs, not paddles.May as well hit someone with a baseball bat.

What a dreadful situation, described so clearly and honestly. Perhaps the most alarming aspect is the obvious lack of empathy - even interest - on the part of the 'assailant.' He was clearly living out his own selfish fantasy with absolutely no thought for or consideration of his 'victim.' That , as so many have already said, makes it truly scary. And dangerous!

I think that things like this are more prone to happen when one fails to get better aquainted with an individual. It shouldn't happen but it does. It is not an experieince that i would like to encounter and it very unfortunate that it occurs at all. I do sympathize with you and hope that nothing like this happens again to you or anyone else. I think the physical aspect is more common with regards to women, but for myself I will never let anyone place me in restraints not even my wife, who I have trusted for 34 years. I will never allow myself to be helpless, women do not always have that option, so it is incumbent upon men to always learn what the boundries are and then abide by them.

Thank you. A very readable article with a salutary tale - especially about trusting one's instincts no matter what the social niceties might otherwise suggest. I'm glad you came through it so strongly.

A terrible story.It's a pity that you couldn't put it in the hands of the police. Personally I dislike the paddle more than any other spanking implement.... but that is just a personal opinion.

Sorry to read about your experience. The guy should have considered himself lucky that someone like you consented to 'play' with him in the first place. Glad it hasn't put you off! :-D

I can only agree with what other people have said. Male switches have to be aware of the risks that women like yourself are making themselves vulnerable to. If _we_ get into a bad situation - which I did, once - it is likely to be a situation that is embarassing in a not-good sense, rather than one that is physically dangerous.

I'm very glad it wasn't the end of your spanking career!

Erica. just like you the article, on Implement Aversion is beautiful. You have a gift for prose. Using the write words to convey an idea. Bravo.

What you wrote scared me to death. It must have been so horrible and terribly frightening. I am so sorry you had to experience that, and I can see why you have an adversion to the paddle. I think that ypu are right in what you said about following your instincts. I am so happy that nothing worse happened and you are safe. Thanks for sharing.

I'm in full agreement with you about the big, thick paddles. After bearing many a bulls' eye bruise, I would never bend over for swats ever again.