The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly
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Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking
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Interview with a Pro-Domme: Miss Lydia What prompted your career choice?  I have been in the Professional scene for over 10 years now. It's hard to think of what exactly prompted it. I've always been drawn to the spanking scene, as I grew up with discipline and spanking used in the household. It's something that has been going on for generations, so I believe it to be a part of me and who I am. I've dabbled in other fields of work in my life (assistant managers, kennel manager, dog groomer, etc), and while I enjoyed them, I felt something was missing. The passion for it wasn't as strong as I let on to be. I prefer to keep busy with my hands, manual labor I guess you can say, and could never work a 9-5 day in an office rotting away in a cubicle. So when the opportunity arrived to finally indulge in my fantasies and desires and my joy in helping others accept their sexuality and know they are not alone, there was no hesitation with me.How long have you been in the business? As I stated, it's been over 10 years since I entered the professional scene. I started in Chicago at the age of 21, working at a commercial dungeon. Though it wasn't the star point of my career, I can't deny the lessons it taught me about this business and how to approach making it work. I will never forget the first time I had a stranger draped over my knees for a spanking session. The rush I felt was something I can only describe as "being home". Until that moment, I only spanked those I trusted and knew with my desire, so to have a stranger was also somewhat thrilling. When it was over, I knew from that moment on what I wanted to do. My time there was short-lived (about a year), as I then moved to Phoenix, Arizona and spent 4 years in the hot desert continuing my career, honing it, learning it, creating it, and finding more about what worked for me and what didn't. It was also a time when I got to fully share my love of not only discipline and spanking, but age play and ABDL play as well. After that stint, I moved to New York City about 3 years ago. With that move also came the decision to go independent. I created my site, opened my clips store, and finally was able to see people that fit within my criteria and shared the same desires as I. I love living here and being able to session with people that enjoy my company, my spanking, and feel able to be "free" with me.How easy was it to break into the business? I want to say it's easy, but it's not. Many don't understand what it takes to be successful in this business. They assume it's about shooting some pictures, holding a paddle and placing an ad online and they will be on the straight path to easy street. It's not. It took me 7 years to finally get to the point that I feel my career is really taking off and for the best. Setting up a website is not easy, as well as a clips store. I've been fortunate to have someone talented and special in my life who takes wonderful photos of me that capture my essence. But it takes time for all the pieces to fit into place. Once all that was set in place, I had the joy of advertising and that is never easy. If you build it, they will come, but only if they know it's there to begin with.What obstacles did you have to overcome? Oddly enough, the only thing I had to overcome is that many in the spanking community are not keen on someone of my age being able to truly understand the scene. Many professional Disciplinarians/Mommies are much older than I am, usually in their 40s and 50s, so for someone to be in their late 20s is something not many find easy to accept. But once they talked to me, sessioned with me, saw what I can do and what I have to say, they knew then that I was the real deal and my age is just a surprise factor. Many were also surprised with how maternal I am, even before I became a real mum. I guess it's a trait you either have or don't, it's not something one can fake. And - are you only in it for the money? The money is nice, but I don't have a house in the Hamptons or drive a new Audi. (I live in Queens and use public transportation). Most of what I make from sessions goes back into my business: rental fees to conduct my sessions, implements, equipment, advertising and wardrobe, it's a never ending list to keep in order so that things work smoothly. Things need to be replaced, diapers need to be bought, bills need to be paid, ads updated and websites as well. It costs money to maintain a site and advertise, it costs money to obtain the goods needed for sessions. However, if one is smart and saves money, when it's time to retire, one can do it in style. I know I can't be doing this forever, and when the time comes for me to hang up my paddles and canes, I want to ensure that I can continue to live comfortably. The thing I enjoy best is the fact that I meet some amazing, interesting people and allow them to freely express their spanking desires and also to feel they have found a confidante who understands them. No amount of money can equal that feeling.Do you make more money than you would in a 'regular' job? It all depends on what that regular job is. Flipping burgers has a different pay rate than a CEO. I make enough to live comfortably and not worry about things. As I mentioned, this is not an easy career and those that think it's all about a lot of fast cash are also the ones you will see exiting the scene just as quickly as they entered it. The smart ones last.What sort of clients do you get? They are from all walks of life - from the blue collar worker to the CEO. Male and female. Young and old. The common thread is that they all desire to be spanked, disciplined, or treated like an adult baby. They crave that release. They desire it because, for many, it's the only time they can indulge in it. I've seen married couples, married men, singles, divorcees. The expansion of my clientele is enough to keep me interested and thrilled that people are more open with their fantasies of discipline. I've seen writers, the unemployed, artists, business owners, techies, regular Joe's, firefighters, almost every career you can think of. They are also cordial, polite, and know that when they are with me, the rules are the rules and if they are broken, I am not one who will let it slide. I guess you can say they know I am "no nonsense". But yet I am also compassionate, nurturing and understanding. I have set rules for when someone wishes to gain an audience with me, and I think when they see that, they know they are in good hands.Do you give your clients a safe word? Always. It is also something that is discussed prior to the session, to ensure that they are aware they have one and can use it whenever they feel the need to. I do not use the word "mercy" as I see it as too much of a fantasy word. I tend to keep with the traditional color system. Yellow: slow it down a bit. Red: this is not working for me, let's move on to something else. I do not engage in 'no safe word' sessions, for safety and legality reasons. The few times I have engaged in 'no safe word' scenes are with those that I have seen for years and have established the trust leading up to those scenes. I also encourage people to always use them and to never think of my opinion of them if they use them. I have never been, and never will be, upset with someone for using their safe word. Your safe word is there for a reason and for you to use whenever you feel the need to use it. Sometimes one's limits and capabilities turn out to be less than expected on the day of a scene and that is the perfect reason why we have safe words. Do you and the client evaluate how the session went afterwards? Yes but I also encourage a checkup after the session, usually within 72 hours. I also send an email the next day to say that I enjoyed the time and the company and to see how they are holding up. Most of my clients beat me to the punch and email me within 24 hours to thank me for the session and give me an update on how they are doing. If something didn't work, we go over the reasons why and see if it's something that can be worked on or if it's something that needs deeper understanding and may be outside of my remit. When things don't work, it's also wise to not only re-evaluate things with the other person, but to look within oneself for the answers why. Was it an off day? Are personal issues getting in the way and affecting the time in session? Those are important questions to ask when the session is not 100%. If the session has gone well, I usually hear about the favorite parts and what they wish to look forward to the next time.Do you get a lot of repeat business? Always! 99% of my clients are repeats, and this is also the bread and butter of being successful. If one gives a great session and spanking, they will always come back for more. I've also noticed, in the ABDL community, that once they find that one Domme that they click with, they rarely stray to others when it comes to sessions. Most spankos are the same way too. I prefer to have long lasting relationships with my clients as opposed to having as many clients as I can fit into a day. Since I also only take one session a day, that ensures that my time and energy and thought goes into that one person and this can result in an excellent scene. They see me give it my all, and they come back because they enjoy that knowing that my time with them is just as important to me as it is to them.continued... |
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