The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly
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Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking
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Interview with a Pro-Domme: Miss Lydia (cont.) Do you switch and take the submissive/bottom role? Do you like to be spanked? I do not offer switch or sub girl sessions, and this is clearly stated on my site. I prefer the Top role (I despise being referred to as a Mistress), as it is what I am comfortable with and enjoy the most. I'm the driving force, the aggressor, the Mother, the authoritative, the line between one being on the path and straying from it and needing to get back on track. I have in the past been spanked in order to have a better understanding of the emotions and dynamics behind it, as well as knowing what my implements feel like and the different levels they can be used at. The best teachers were once students and the best teachers know what their students go through.What kind of spanking/CP services do you provide? My main scenes are domestic discipline, though I also fully enjoy corporal punishment, behavioral modification spankings, therapeutic discipline, school discipline, and anything in between. I enjoy OTK sessions as I adore someone over my knees with my arm holding their waist tight and my other arm high in the air coming down on their backside. There is an intimate connection with OTK spankings that only spankos get. I adore role-play as well, along with ABDL scenes. I also provide the activities which may be associated with spanking and discipline scenes such as enemas, figging, mouth soaping, hot saucing, corner time, line writing, restraints, and verbal play.What is your favourite spanking/CP role play scenario? Must I choose one? I'm requested to be mother, babysitter, wife, girlfriend and auntie more often than others. Perhaps it's that maternal element to my personality! Yet, I have also enjoyed the roles of warden, headmistress, neighbor, boss, nun, role reversal scenes, and even gender reversal scenes (in which I am a father figure). The mind is a vast never-ending playground and any walk of life can be incorporated into a scene. If you can think it up, it can happen.What is in your collection of implements? Any favourites? My collection is so large, that I have 3 pages of my implements listed on my site. Paddles, canes, spoons, whips, crops, quirts, hairbrushes, belts, straps, wooden, leather, PVC, rattan, acrylic, it never ends! A lady can never have enough! I have had to restrain myself from splurging on items at times, but when the mouth is watering, one has to quench it! I also keep ABDL items in stock, diapers that I purchase from Bambinos.com, clothing, powder, pacifiers, bottles, toys, wipes, etc. I also have within my collection ropes, leather restraints, gags, enema kits, and so much more. With all that I have in my ever growing collection, most are surprised to hear that my favorite implement is my bare hand. I've been informed I have a heavy palm and a hard whack, and I enjoy that feeling of a bare bottom beneath my hand. A traditional iconic image. Do you think of yourself as an entertainer, a therapist, something different? I think of myself as a therapist at times. I'm there for people to let go and release the thoughts inside their heads and know that it's ok and they are not alone. That their thoughts are not abnormal, but quite normal! They are allowed to let stress go and allow themselves to place trust in another to take the control over them and work with them on what they want to change or work through. Before and after the session, we are equals, and that is the time in which I encourage sharing and engaging in conversations that can lead to a better understanding of who we are and why we are and that it is just fine.How would you define the difference between a professional Disciplinarian and a professional Dominatrix? As someone who has come from both worlds, there is a HUGE difference between the two. A Disciplinarian is more focused on the spanking/discipline element while a professional Dominatrix is more BDSM/fetish based, and that is a wide base. A long time ago someone said to me "the difference is one prefers whips and chains and leather and latex in a dungeon while the other prefers business suits, stockings, belts and hairbrushes in the living room". I think that sums it up perfectly. Disciplinarians are also more focused on the psychological approach in helping people overcome obstacles that they know only a good hard maintenance spanking can provide.How do you manage your own personal safety whilst working? I have strict rules that must be adhered to in order to gain an audience with me. If my rules aren't followed, they are denied a session. I conduct sessions at a space in Manhattan that is private, but also accessible for the lady that owns the space. I do not conduct sessions out of my house. That is my sanctuary. I do not engage in out-calls with new clients. I never advertise my phone number, preferring email contact only leading up to the session. I never take same day appointments as my time is valuable and I require that potential clients provide referrals for me to check. I also require a cell number when someone books a session, and if they do not, there is no session. That same rule applies to email confirmation the morning of the session. I always go with my gut instincts if I feel there are too many red flags about a person. I do not take every session request that comes my way, as I want them to be sessions that I feel are likely to provide the best time. I don't respond to rude people, because if they are rude via email, they are more than likely to be rude in real life as well. My safety is important, just as a client's is when they are in session with me. I stay sane, and I stay safe. It's been working for over 3 years now since I went independent.Do you think your job affects you psychologically? I don't believe it does as this is real life for me. I have control over my life and if I am feeling the need to take a break, I will. There is no point in engaging with others in session if I am not 100%. If I have a client that is going through a rough patch and I am aware of it, I admit that it may fill my thoughts at times and distract me. But I guess that is just the compassionate person inside me. Life happens and we can't stop things from happening. We are also human and may have had personal experiences of our own that we can share to help another handle a particular situation. However, this is still a career for me and I have learned a long time ago to never take 'work' home. We all need balance in our lives. I tend to spend my free time with 'vanilla' activities such as movies, seeing friends and family, exploring New York City, relaxing, and more. That is my release when things get too hectic, and it helps. Like having a spa day for the mind.  Do your friends and family know what you do for a living? I have been blessed with an incredibly understanding family and friends who knew from day one what I do for a living. I know many are not that fortunate. I'm a firm believer in honesty and I was upfront with them about it, and in turn they were accepting of it. I allowed them to ask questions, gave them a better understanding of what it is I do and don't do, and assured them that I was safe and in control of how I conduct things. They know my rules as well, and sometimes even help with things (such as transport, assisting on photo-shoots etc.). If they have an issue with what I do, I encourage them to speak to me first as it's possible that they may be confused or misled in regards to what I do. I'm also a firm believer in having friends within the scene as well, so I am friends with many other professional ladies, as well as models, photographers, and other video producers. It's nice to be around others that understand the heartaches and smiles of this business.Does Spanking/Discipline extend to your personal relationships? Yes and yes and, did I already say yes? This is who I am, what I enjoy. This is my hard-wiring, my make-up and I can't change that. Without it, I'd be living a lie and that is something I could never forgive myself for. I don't believe in 24/7 relationships, but I find spanking/discipline works wonderfully inside and outside the bedroom. It's also a nice game to play with that someone special.Any regrets in your chosen career? None. I started this young, and through it I have found my confidence, my happiness and myself. The path I have followed has gone exactly as I wanted it to, and my travels have let me experience different lifestyles and meet different people. I love living where I am now, as New York City is a vast city that is virtually without limits to explore. It's also allowed me to be closer to international clients who seek me out, and I learn more about differences in the scene between the US and Europe. Where my life has gone fits perfectly into what it is now. I am happier, and it's apparent in my work and to those who see me.Do you have any tips for aspiring Pro-Dommes? Love what you do and do it right. Don't jump too fast. Educate yourself, know your limits and immerse yourself in your fantasies. Know yourself before you start this. Be passionate. If you are not passionate it shows, and there is no point in wasting your own time and that of others. Be smart and always be safe. Be diligent and understanding. Be yourself and don't create a fake persona of how you think a professional acts, talks, sessions, dresses, etc. Understand that this is also a business and you must conduct it as such, but with care and humanity. Never be greedy. And I think another important tip is this: be nice to others on your way up, cause you may have to rely on those same people on your way down. 8 comments:
bendover said...
I found this article/interview fantastic. I agree that Miss Lydia is undoubtedly an honest and intelligent lady. She seems to show a politeness and genuine interest in clients she accepts sessions with. I don't see on iota of female ego here. This lady is truly down to earth with the business she's in. 29 August 2012 17:03
PinkAngel said...
Fascinating! It is nice to learn from someone who is so happy with what they do for a living. A great article on a subject I knew very little about. 29 August 2012 17:51
samslipper said...
That was a very interesting article, great to hear it from the Tops point of view and how She has progressed as she has learnt her trade. It is an atricle I would read again to see how my actions impact on the ladies I visit. I do prefer one above the rest because I am very comfortable with her and I hope she with me, however if she is unavailable I regret that I have to get my needs seen to! 29 August 2012 19:07
otkal said...
Excellent interview. It's quite rare to find a woman who really likes to administer a spanking. Sounds like she has a truly enjoyable job. What more could a spanko ask for? 29 August 2012 22:18
islandcarol said...
Miss Lydia is the Real McCoy, dedicated, thoughtful flexible and many other positive qualities that contribute to her ability to provide appropriate services to her clients. I am stuned at the range of services she offers. I thoroughly enjoyed this article. 2 September 2012 02:49
Februs said...
Many thanks to Miss Lydia for providing a really substantial, in-depth interview which made for very interesting and enjoyable reading. 2 September 2012 22:02
ridgeburg said...
I enjoyed the article by Miss Lydia. I have been spanked by multiple domes and prefer a domestic role play. The article confirms a lot of my experiences. I usually preferred receiving an OTK spanking with a hairbrush or paddle. Great article from the disciplinarian view. 20 February 2013 23:57
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Miss Lydia is sincere, and cares about people.
She is business savvy, and has set up several excellent websites, and two great clips-4-sale stores. Being a Disciplinarian is not a coat of paint to Her - it goes to the marrow!
If you ask for and describe what you need, within rather wide limits, Miss Lydia will likely have it for you.
Miss Lydia is polite, courteous, and as easy to talk with as anyone whom I have ever met in the Scene - more than most.
Miss Lydia is unique in Her approach to being Dominant. Whether very experienced, or completely new to the scene and somewhat scared of it, you will get what you need and feel good about it.
Lance, friend, spanko, client, and fortunate.