Interesting thoughts and with some of them I agree totally. Especially in regard to the German spanking stories I have to admit, that I don't like them either. I tried hard to read a few, but mostly stopped after a few sentences. And I think most of my still limited ability to write in English results also from trying to comment on stories in this library or from a few further discussions with some of the authors. To all the various discussions about orientation, relation to BDSM, submission and feminism, 50 Shades of Grey and so on I found that all arguments are pretty much the same on all spanking sites world wide. The variety in between the kinky society is large everywhere, but thanks to the Internet it seems to me that everybody should be able to find several friends who share the same views. I would like to have more international contacts, but circumstances of my life are bounding me most time of the year to my hometown, which makes it always difficult to meet any spankos, let alone from abroad. But fortunately there are quite a few like-minded Germans too, and what the national fault-finders are discussing doesn't need to bother us, I guess.

It's always struck me as strange that the German language, rich and resourceful as it is, doesn't seem to have a word for 'spanking'. The best it can come up with is 'den Hintern versohlen' - to leather the backside.

This probably confirms crumbmouse's suggestion that spanking as such doesn't really fit into the German scene, which is far more dedicated to BDSM. (I've noticed the same thing when browsing sex shops in Germany and Austria.) And I'd totally agree with her about the whole dressing up fetish; fine if that's what you like, but personally I've never seen why I should get myself up like an extra from the Rocky Horror Show in order to spank a few female bottoms....

Wow, sounds like you are definitely better off on the British forums! Your English is amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your experiences and thoughts.

This was truly a heartfelt piece. I loved the Warren Street mention. I lived part of my life on Warren Street in upstate New York, and I know it's not the same place, just the name.

It seems being a spanko was educational for you, too, CM.

Wow! I can remember the first time I got a computer and was introduced to the Internet. That was the first word I typed. I was like a kid in the candy story with an open credit line.

Great article.

Not only German has no equivalent word to "Spanking". Portuguese also is lacking in that particular. The words "Palmada", "Surra" and others are close but don't translate the emotions and images of "spanking". As a proof, I can point that Brazilians on the scene calls their kink... "spanking,"

I loved your article, crumbmouse and I'm sure you found a lot of people with the same interest between English-speakers (well, American-speakers also), just as I did.

The Swedish word "smisk" means exactly the same as spanking, but we have no word for "spankee". I think it is marginaly more exciting to read a spanking-story in Swedish than English.

I know about three Swedish spanking sites but only one BDSM site.

Spanking is very politically incorrect in Sweden if the spankee is a woman.

I liked your article crumbmouse.

Thank you all for reading and for commenting. I did have a knot in my tummy before the article was published and I half expected some of the German readers throwing foul eggs at me ;) It feels good that it hasn't happened ....so far !

One of the things Crumbmouse touched on that I have always thought strange is that not only in Germany but everywhere the BDSM people look down on spanking as being too mild but the punishments in their scenes are mostly fake.

There is a lot of swinging of whips and crops around but they hardly ever hit anybody with any force. Or they use lightweight "floggers", some of which look like they are made of yarn, that barely make the skin pink. The BDSM videos are the same, play acting like a little kid dressing up as a monster on Halloween.

westviking: "Spanking is very politically incorrect in Sweden if the spankee is a woman."

Which probably makes it even more fun?

What a great article - I love Germany and its people but somehow the spanking/BDSM scene seems so one-dimensional compared to Britain and America; the groups I've been to in the UK don't have the insistence on dress codes and protocols which I find tiresome and everybody is friendly and on an equal footing outside of the play room!

Strangely a female German friend who's vanilla as far as I can tell once offered to find me a German domme when I visited so there isn't much secrecy and reticence in German society about kink.

After reading the last comments I want to add some sentences as I think the article may lead to a biased image of the German Spanko scene.

The spanking community is indeed small compared to BDSM and both are closely related. The German spanking sites I’m registered to are mainly discussing spanking, but do have an own section for BDSM-topics. But as I’m only looking into sections of my own interests, I never noticed extensive discussions about nipple-clamps, handcuffs or gags. Also I was never asked to join any hot sex-games, nor have I seen any thread about hot-sex-games, was never pushed by anyone to look on naked male bottoms and was never told to switch. In contrast my experiences from the last events I participated were completely different. Everybody tried hard to consider the individual aspects of anyone’s kink to make the specific fantasies come true and everybody was welcome irrespective of gender, orientation or any other characteristics. That implies of course that a German spanking event might not be the right thing for somebody who is strictly focused on meeting “alpha-males” and feels offended by a glimpse on a naked male bottom. I venture to doubt that English spanking parties differ in that respect.
Also I never heard spankos mentioning that women shouldn’t be spankees and the comment about “50 shades” I remember best was given by our leading feminist. She said, that “50 shades” is not misogynist as the sex-games are always consensual and Anastasia never submitted or obeyed Grey. And there I totally agree with her.

Furthermore it’s not true that all German Spanking events insist on a strict dress code or require leather outfit. Some events do, other’s not and as socialism is definitely abolished since 1990 everybody is free to select whatever fits him best. You are even allowed to organise your own event exactly the way you like to have it. One spanking community offers about 50 different groups to join and this groups are covering topics like BDSM, young Spankos, domestic discipline, cane-fetishists, school-setting, judicial settings, stories, movies and so on. Everybody can found any group he likes. So I wouldn’t call the possibilities in Germany one-dimensional at all. It might be that the Berlin Spanko-Scene is more extreme than the south of Germany, but as Berlin is traditionally the stronghold of subculture it attracts naturally many of the most weird, most eccentric and most extreme people. I will not deny that we have many black sheep among the Spankos, but again it’s always possible to ignore them. Thus said, I can completely understand why Crumbmouse prefers the English spanking scene. It looks great to me too, although I suspect that England has a significant bigger amount of “alpha-males” and submissive women or a lesser amount of male bottoms and switches than Germany.

What a great article. I had no idea the differences between countries and kinks. It was awesome to read your perspective on the difference between the Spanko community in the UK and US compared to that in your own country. Well done :)

@mati
". . .and what the national fault-finders are discussing doesn't need to bother us"

I can't help thinking that this is unnecessarily defensive - there are no national fault finders here.

"That implies of course that a German spanking event might not be the right thing for somebody who is strictly focused on meeting “alpha-males” and feels offended by a glimpse on a naked male bottom."

Well crumb certainly isn't focused on meeting alpha-males - I believe she's found hers and there was nothing about being offended . . simply that male rumps are not her preferred view!

"Furthermore it’s not true that all German Spanking events insist on a strict dress code or require leather outfit."

Again, crumb never said that all German spanking events insist on strict dress code, just that she's encountered many that have and freely admits that these were just her subjective views.

"I remember best was given by our leading feminist. She said, that “50 shades” is not misogynist as the sex-games are always consensual and Anastasia never submitted or obeyed Grey."

Whilst it's certainly a point of view - clearly crumb did not find it quite so memorable. You're sort of proving her point really, by taking it upon yourself to 'correct' what is freely admitted to be nothing more than a purely subjective opinion.

I would suggest that every country (and if large enough, parts of a country) would have it own spanking scene. Many people have thought western Canada was a "bible belt" area for years but I have found there are many spanko's out here just as there are in other places.

I would say the US and British sites may be a bit more open then other countries in some ways, whereas we Canucks are likely more on the conservative side.

I know a few Germans and the wife has always been in subjection in all the couples I know, young and old so the comments about strong women is a little off base to me, but then I don't live in Germany.

Good for her to be willing to express her feelings like she does, I have always admired people who can do that.

ahh..the foul eggs.....

@mati thanks for proving my point, that was exactly what I was talking about - people putting words into my mouth and judge about my feelings.

@all the others, thanks for reading and commenting on my writing.

Wow! If English is your second language you ought to be translating for the UN. I would be happy to write a large check to anyone who could improve my German to be half that of your English proficiency. Thank you for sharing some very personal and well articulated thoughts! I knew there was an especially bright light on my crt when I logged onto LSF today and now I know where the light is coming from. We are all in your debt for expanding our thoughts about the intersect between spanking and culture in the West.

Spanking has a few face! Discipline and eroticism are two separate things, you know? Spanking is not only caning, slapping, belting etc ... BDSM is the big house and spanking is only a room at this house! It's my room, I am german and the owner of the oldest and biggest german spanking community. But the spanking that occurs on a community website of course isn't real! How can a virtual page on a website give or get a spanking? Spanking can only really take place in your flat or with a friend at events or outdoors you know?

Spankers all have different feelings, different memories. From time to time I look around on the english-speaking spanking communties and talk in english-speaking chat rooms with people from all over the world. I notice people with different feelings and different memories and I don't really see any difference from the German communities. I notice a lot of fakes from all over the world and talk with people who only like virtual spanking as well as those who get or give spanking for real. No different to the german websites! But I never talk about or write anything as fact when it is based merely on virtual experience.

I saw crumbmouse on my own website but I have never seen her in real life. I'm not aware that crumbmouse has visited any german spanking events and we have a lot of different events taking place each year! The virtual experiences described here are funny but have nothing to do with everyday reality! Nothing! Not with spanking events, only with virtual experiences.

Rainer

Crumbmouse is only writing what she is feeling, we all know things are never exactly the way one person sees things at anytime or anyplace. You could lighten up a little, we all write things that reflect our feelings and sometimes it is difficult to put things in writing that do that. Whether crumbmouse has ever been to any events you are aware of does not matter, it is the way she feels about things, and she deserves the respect of everyone.

@canadianspankee

I also read about how and what she feels but in particular I noted generalizations that I believe are untrue. If BDSM can be considered a house with many rooms but I wish to talk about the spanking room then I cannot write about all the other rooms and pretend the spanking room does not exist.

Thanks for also proving my point Rainer!

I'm not going to comment on the spanking scene in Germany because I know very little about it. I would say, however, that I don't agree with the analogy of BDSM being a house in which spanking is merely one of the rooms. In my own experience that's the way BDSMers see it but it's not my own perception of things at all. For me, they are both on the same level but otherwise poles apart and as a lifelong spankophile I feel a much greater affinity with the average vanilla than I do with the average BDSMer. Of course, the terms BDSMer and spankophile might have a somewhat different meaning in Germany and perhaps this is part of the problem that is raised by the article?

Amen. I also do not see spanking as a "room in the big house of BDSM." For me spanking is just that and it is consensual and enjoyable: there is no bondage involved, there is no discipline, so sadism, no masochism as those words are normally defined. Some would see it another way, I do not and I know many others who do not see it as simply a room in the big house. A second applause for your well written piece, crumb.

interesting perspective - tastes are not so different in any language

Canadianspankee said: "Many people have thought western Canada was a "bible belt" area for years". Hmm, the bible would be a bit heavy, but the belt is fine.

There are many delightful rears in Germany so it's a pity if they are left unpunished.

I did enjoy crumbmouse's honest and thoughtful article. On another site I have come across a German policewoman (OK, she could be inventing that, but she's provided a lot of background which seems to confirm her identity) who's into being spanked and fantasies of non-consensual spanking, including of policewomen, but not particularly BDSM. Unfortunately her English isn't up to much and neither is my German, especially in the technical vocabulary of spanking.

@barretthunter
sorry bh, no spankable female rears available in Germany. And I better don't reveal what we pervert German femdommes really do with our beloved nipple-clamps....

Rainer

"The virtual experiences described here are funny but have nothing to do with everyday reality! Nothing! Not with spanking events, only with virtual experiences."

Oh well, if Crumb's experiences were virtual I hate to think what that says about my state of delusion - as her play partner of 5 years standing!

@Nuages ​​but I read in the report of facts which are not virtual or real correctly. One should not write about something you do not know what!

@Nuages

"if Crumb's experiences were virtual I hate to think what that says about my state of delusion - as her play partner of 5 years "

LMAO...now Nuages are you sure you are real, if you pinch yourself does it hurt, if crumb hits your butt does it sting? Maybe you are still 16 years old and having a sexy dream..or maybe your have an very active imagination. LOL

Very funny, I am still laughing.

@Rainer how much do you know about my local real life experiences? Only because you run one site out of many doesn't give you the right to judge about that. Maybe my experiences have nothing to do with your site or the people you talk to. But of course you know my feelings better than I do - how could I forget about that.

@Rainer

Call me old fashioned but I think that when a contributor goes to the trouble of prefacing her remarks, thus :-

"I should say up front that it's not my intention to upset anyone with what I have written, this is merely my personal opinion in regards to my lifestyle preferences and as such is entirely subjective."

she's pretty much entitled to write what she likes thereafter.

I am new to the site and I know of Germany and its reported reputation for BDSM but have never been there, so I can't be sure of exactly what German predalictions mightnbe. Howerver, as one who had a very strict German Nanny as a child, a lady who was raised in Germany, I know that there have to be Germans who are very much involved in spanking as a purely domestic, strict and regular event. That is, spanking with controls and consequences and pure surrender on the part of both participants without BDSM overtones. In fact the thought of receiving a real domestic spanking in Germany is rather wonderful. Thank you for your essay - interesting perspective.

i have to agree with crumb here, I think her views are so well articulated and expressed. Feel free to comment and offer alternate perspective, but do afford the writer the respect that is duly merited from such a personal perspective and well penned piece.

@nuages
"Oh well, if Crumb's experiences were virtual I hate to think what that says about my state of delusion - as her play partner of 5 years standing!"

Thanks nuages for that hint. I think I get the point now. When I read crumbmouse's article, I just thought: "Where the hell did she ever read about hot sex games and nipple clamps?" whereas I found that the most frequented threads on one big spanking site this week have been issues like "What did you cook today?" or "What are you doing against unwanted infertility?" (Not that I like this better).

Now I realise that crumbmouse’s experiences are going back to a time when I not even know the term "spanking". The most spankos in Germany are older than 40 years, that's at least my experience (confirmed by an organiser of spanking events) and what can be proved by a quick look through the profiles of members. Spanking never was a German thing so I guess that many German women like me didn't know about erotic spanking until we got access to the internet, whereas our husband’s probably browsed through more pornographic oriented sites during their working hours. So what you could find five years ago on German “spanking”-sites may have been very different from today and I don’t wonder any longer that crumbmouse couldn’t find anything to her taste. I think times changed and as more and more German women are finding the communities, talking also about their wishes and dreams the appearance of the formerly male and porn-oriented websites are changing rapidly too.

@mati it's great that you've found your home on a German board and I am sure the German scene has developed since I made my first experiences no doubt about that. I was just put off big time during my time there.

The strong reactions from German spankos I got for only writing about MY feelings in this article don't make me want to dip my toe back into the German scene at all.

I had no idea that there are "national characters" in the field of kink. I thought in my ignorance that the spanking fetish was universal and the same in all cultures. Well, live and learn.

I wonder what kind of national character we Swedes have when it comes to kink? I am myself the mirror image of crumbmouse. I just love to fantasize about the spanking and chastising of attractive (and naughty) females on their bare bottoms.

Although I am 62 years old I have never checked out the Swedish "scene". Although I am sure that there is one.