The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly
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Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking
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Respect A worrying lack of respect, to put it mildly, seems to be becoming prevalent in some online spanking circles. Even on high profile sites, such as tumblr, women taking a submissive role are all too often called bitches, sluts and whores. Although (as far as I know) not yet a major issue in spanking fiction this unpleasant trend has long been a particularly nasty feature elsewhere on the net. Lately it's disturbing to discover such derogatory descriptions appearing on spanking related blogs, and not just within text. Sadly there exist pictures of women bent over to be punished with 'slut' written on their bottom. Goodness knows what sort of self-image they maintain? Is it really plausible they gave informed agreement to this? Decided nothing would better compliment spanking games than pictures posted of themselves with 'whore and 'use me' crudely emblazoned on them in lipstick? Even allowing for a little method acting their expressions don't seem to say so. Who would want to associate with a spanker who thinks making such derogatory remarks is acceptable? This is the behaviour of the classic bully. You may think, I never visit these sites, nor associate with such lowlife, why is it my problem? Possibly because there's already a worrying trend for young people to get unmediated sex information from the net. Patchy relationship education of varying quality leaves many young lads appalled when first confronted by pubic hair, or expecting anal sex as of right. Woman are becoming increasingly objectified and terming them slut and whore will only worsen a situation where the biggest rise in domestic violence (in the UK) is within the 16-24 age group At a time when public attitudes to consensual adult spanking appear to be softening and becoming more liberal - whether the awesomely badly written '50 Shades' led the charge or reflected the mood remains a moot point - boorish behaviour isn't going to help. Granted, the themes of dominance and submission are bound to complicate perceptions of what constitutes acceptable adult interactions. But there's a vast gap between power exchanges involving consensual role-play and downright insulting, borderline abusive behaviour. Trust between spanker and spankee has to be the all-important ingredient, and that's quickly eroded by lack of respect. Spanking has always been a catch-all term encompassing many different strokes for different folks There are things I don't get, Domestic Discipline (DD) and Head of Household (HOH), others which appal me, bottoms calling their top 'daddy', but in a relationship based on mutual regard both participants experience something positive. Add an element of insult and humiliation, especially when shared with a wider public, and arguably the dynamic becomes skewed and unhealthy. Is a spanker who does this going to respect other limits, or pass beyond agreed parameters and exploit her obedience? Does he any longer care about his spankee's feelings? I'd suggest spanking fiction has a social responsibility in subtly influencing attitudes. In my stories women are punished, sometimes to tears and their bottoms marked in the process. However, I've always taken care to construct plots with some degree of plausibility. Situations in which there is another 'way out', should the spankee choose not to submit; scenarios where women feel sufficiently confident and empowered to seek a spanking from someone with whom they feel safe. In doing so I've been influenced in no small part by a partner with a healthy amount of self-respect, who sees no contradiction between her submissive 'spanko' sexuality and avowed feminism (even if most of her female friends would!) Your spankee can be dominated without being diminished as a human being. Men (because it usually is) who describe their spanking/caning/tawsing (delete according to taste) female partners as sluts and whores display an immaturity and insecurity ill befitting them to be a top. In instances where spanking is a prelude to sex, hectoring insults hardly set the mood. Such gratuitous put-downs may give the inexperienced or those thinking of trying spanking for the first time the completely wrong impression that CP is about the mental and physical ill-treatment of women. By all means assume control and take a naughty little madam to task, but show some class. It's perfectly easy - in fact, says my wife, much better - to be good mannered and polite when firmly instructing the light of your life to 'pull your panties down and bend over right now'. Apparently, a woman would much rather be spanked by a gentleman ... In choosing to obey and allowing you to spank her, your spankee makes herself vulnerable and pays you the enormous compliment of her complete trust. Please treat her, and women in general, properly in life, print, pictures, online, and above all in your writing of spanking fiction, because dominant or submissive we're all equal. 20 comments
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