The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly


Wellred Weekly
Volume 1, Number 12 : December 7, 2012
 
Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking

Consent
by Thomas Elders

Consent is a key element in all forms of BDSM and spanking play. Without consent, the actions that we normally participate in would be nothing more than assault, abuse, and domestic violence. Often, even with the existence of consent on our sides, we still receive those brands from people who misunderstand what we’re about. I once wrote an essay on the difference between domestic discipline and domestic violence. Consent was one of those differences, though an outside observer can easily misinterpret that consent if they don’t know what our relationships are about.

To an outside observer, there is little difference between a woman who claims that her husband spanks her to help her, and a woman who claims that he punches her for the same reason. Yes, to someone unfamiliar with BDSM, our actions appear to be just as abusive as any other. Therefore, consent presents us with scant protection in court, and a woman’s testimony is often dismissed if it would exonerate her husband. In other words, those who are truly abused seldom admit that they were, and will often defend the abuser out of misplaced love. Because of this, law tends to lean towards the aggressive prosecution of suspected abusers. While this is necessary to protect those who would continue suffering abuse rather than turn against their abuser, it’s this same tendency that puts BDSM practitioners in danger of prosecution, as well.

However, it’s unlikely that an abused woman ever consented to that abuse, or sought it out freely. It’s much more likely that the relationship started out lovingly enough, and then progressed until it was out of her control. So, the problem with these situations is identifying what constitutes consent, and how to demonstrate to others, even a jury of your peers, that the activities in question were agreed upon by the two of you.

In the adult spanking realm, there are four identifiable forms of consent. For any adult spanking to truly be deemed “acceptable,” it should have one of these are the very heart of it, though one form would be on pretty shaky ground.

Direct consent
This is the simplest form of consent, consisting solely of the spankee giving the spanker stated permission to place hands upon her bottom. When two spankos meet at a spanking party, request play from each other, then negotiate and agree on that play, there has been direct consent given for that play to take place. While the simplest, though, it’s not the most common. Direct consent is most often given to people that you’re playing with for the first time, such as at a spanking party or first meet. For people more familiar with each other, the methods for obtaining spanking play are much more informal.

Direct consent is the easiest to present and argue, as it takes the form of pronounced agreement between two parties. There is nothing left to the imagination, as each side clearly stated their desires and expectations. As long as neither individual included elements that weren’t agreed upon, there is plausible argument for consensuality. At a spanking party, there will often be adequate reason to believe that the individuals were there to take part in spanking play, simply by their attendance. In addition, parties usually have guests sign waivers that they understand what kind of activities will be taking place.

Unfortunately, long term relationships, such as those most likely to be targeted by a possible domestic violence charge, are unlikely to request permission for each and every spanking that takes place. As stated above, direct consent will mostly apply to short term meetings while getting to know someone. For other situations, direct consent presents little defense for the actions taken.

Implied consent
This is when the spankee behaves in such a way that it is reasonable to assume that she understands that a spanking is the logical conclusion to her actions. The most obvious example of this would be bratting, and many parties include a provision in their rules that bratting is the equivalent of consent. In other words, if you don’t want to be spanked by someone, don’t brat them. This kind of rule prevents a Top from getting in trouble after being wound up by a feisty brat, who then cries foul when he turns her over his knee. Instead, the blame falls on the brat, who should have known better. At a spanking party, no one will fault a Top for spanking someone that’s being bratty to them, regardless of whether the brat later claims that she didn’t want to be spanked by him.

Similar to bratting, but on the other end of the spectrum, would be provocative teasing and seduction. A spankee who wears a short pleated skirt, then bends over right in front of her favorite man, displaying her curved bottom and panties, is also asking for a spanking, though of a different sort. Again, no one would fault a spanker who decides to take action when presented with such an inviting target.

While it is unlikely that an erotic spanking would ever have the authorities knocking at your door, it is possible that a spanking for bratting, complete with a kicking and squealing brat, would seem like someone was being forcibly abused. In public, this would likely result in an assault charge, unless the spankee does some fast talking about her willingness in the situation. At a spanking party, where bratting and spanking is a common occurrence, there is a much better chance to argue the point, should a situation arise.

The problem with implied consent, particularly if a chance spanking occurs in view of the public eye, is that there is nothing to the outside observer to mark the act as consensual. A bystander would see a woman being forcibly placed over man’s knee, and then struck on her buttocks repeatedly while she cried or squealed. If you didn’t already know that someone was a spanko, it would be pretty easy to mistake this for an attack.

Consensual Nonconsent
This is the core ingredient of most disciplinary relationships. Basically, this represents a spankee giving a spanker permission to spank them in the future, even if they don’t necessarily desire that spanking when it’s time for it to occur. Primarily, this means giving the spanker consent to hold the spankee accountable for misbehavior, though it could also pertain to a submissive spankee who enjoys forced play. Having this form of consent means that the spankee may be taken, kicking and screaming, literally, across the spanker’s knee for a spanking, even if it’s completely against her will at that moment. In the case of disciplinary relationships, it means that the spankee has acknowledged ahead of time that she occasionally needs to be held accountable for her actions, and has agreed to be spanked for those misdeeds.

The problem with consensual nonconsent is that, at the actual moment of the spanking, it is wholly against the spankee’s will. Yes, they may recognize the fact that the spanking is in their best interests, but they still don’t WANT the spanking. This makes the argument of consent, from a legal standpoint, difficult to prove. In the eyes of the law, pre-emptive consent won’t overrule the need for immediate consent at the time of the actual spanking. In other words, if the spanking doesn’t have consent when it is actually given, then it doesn’t have consent, period.

The only reasonable means of protecting yourself from prosecution, as I see it, would be to ritualize these sorts of spankings, letting the spankee know ahead of time that she has earned one and when it’s going to be given. Several key elements in disciplinary spankings, such as cornertime, scolding and lecturing, will assist in preparing her for the spanking to come. In this way, you can set up for her to ask for her punishment or admit that she deserves a spanking (direct consent), or at least go willingly across the spanker’s knees when the time comes (implied consent).

Forced consent
This form of consent is likely rarely the case in real spanking situations, but is often seen in spanking videos and stories. The spankee, caught in a compromising situation, is given the choice between a more standardized punishment for their actions, or agreeing to accept a spanking, instead. It should have little application in real spanking relationships, but is included here for the sake of completion.

A thief is caught in the act, and given the choice of jail or a spanking. A cheating girlfriend is found out by a friend, and forced to take a spanking or have her boyfriend find out. A champion athlete is accused of cheating by a referee, and has to take a spanking or lose her title. These are all examples of forced consent.

Forced consent will provide scant defense to prosecution. The act of giving a person such a choice amounts to blackmail, which is a crime by its own right. Additionally, since the “consent” is given under duress, the actual act of spanking would still be assault by legal definition. For this reason, forced consent should continue to be the topic of stories (with fictional spankees) and videos (where consent waivers are signed before filming begins), but should never spill over into the real spanking scene.

Understanding these concepts will enable a spanko to explain their own interests and activities, whether it be to prosecuting attorneys or just concerned friends or family. Helping someone to understand that the spankee is a willing participant will help them to understand how and why someone takes part in these activities.






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