The Library of Spanking Fiction: Wellred Weekly
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Articles
Items of interest regarding all things spanking
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Domestic Discipline: Lifestyle Choice or Bit of Fun? This article is based on my own personal take on Domestic Discipline (DD). It is something my husband and I use in our marriage and as such I researched the topic at length when I first considered it as a way of life. This article is based on my thoughts, my research, and how I have found things to be, but with an understanding that things can work differently for others. DD is basically an agreement between two consenting adults designed to implement a system of rules and consequences. These rules and consequences will vary considerably but should the rules be broken the consequences will consist of some kind of punishment enforced by one of the parties. These rules and consequences can work in both directions for some people but for most it will go in one direction only. The idea is that these rules and consequences form a natural part of day to day life and strengthen a relationship, enabling unwanted behaviour to be discouraged in a consistent manner. It is often assumed that people who agree to submit to the rules within a DD relationship are weak or unintelligent, lacking in confidence or looking for a parental figure. While this may be the case in some instances, many people who choose this lifestyle are intelligent, vibrant, mature adults who still find the structure and routine of DD useful. Unless decided between the parties concerned at the outset there is no reason why the relationship cannot be one of equals, so long as the rules are adhered to. It is a supportive routine, designed to help people be their very best. One would expect the kind of person who agrees to implement the consequences within a DD relationship to be one who cares for their partner (for want of a better word), who wants to ensure that both are happy and healthy within their relationship and who wants to ensure the smooth running of their lives. The kind of punishments that are used can vary considerably. Anything from corner-time to mouth-soaping, a spanking or an early bed time. A ban on computer time can also be used as well as line or essay writing. Of course, a combination of some or all of these is entirely possible. The couple's imagination and agreement is the only limit. Whatever is agreed upon needs to be something that the other person would find unpleasant since there is no point in having someone purposely breaking rules to 'get what they want'. Bratting is not a part of DD. The rules that can be used within a DD relationship are many and varied and could in theory consist of just a single rule; alternatively there may be a comprehensive list of different rules. Irrespective of the number of rules, they must be agreed to by both parties, as must the potential punishments. It is important to review a DD agreement regularly and ensure that it is working as it should for all parties involved. Rules should ideally be written down, along with the consequences. That way there can be no arguments about what is right or wrong. Not following through when a rule is broken can damage the agreement, unless of course there is a very good reason for not doing so. Equally, breaking rules on purpose to get a punishment is liable to cause problems within a DD relationship. It is important not to be completely inflexible but equally it is vital to be consistent. I realise that may seem like a contradiction in terms but as an example, say one of your rules is that you must be home by 7pm... if you fall down and break your leg at 6.45pm and so have to be picked up from hospital at 9pm, this is hardly a wilful breaking of the rule (or of your poor leg) and as such it would be unreasonable and promote resentment, to punish purely because the rule was broken. It is an individual choice whether a safe word be considered appropriate for a DD punishment. We do not have a safe word ourselves but I trust my husband implicitly and know that he would never do anything to endanger me or cause me actual harm. It is probably a good idea to have one in most cases though, after all you may never need it but it is always there just in case. So, how Does DD differ from BDSM or other forms of spanking? DD is designed to stop or alter unwanted behaviour and to strengthen a relationship and is not intended to be sexual. BDSM is, in general, performed more for the mutual enjoyment and often the sexual pleasure of both parties. I suppose it is hard to draw a definite line between the two but there is no reason why someone who practises BDSM, or spanking, should not also have a DD relationship, the two should, however, be kept separate. My husband and I have lived within a DD relationship for nearly three years now but I can't actually recall the last time I was in serious trouble. Without having implemented DD it is highly unlikely I would be as happy and settled as I currently am, as personal issues of the past would most likely have resurfaced. Spankings are a frequent occurrence in our household but these are not part of our DD life. For us DD is not about curfews or other more day to day things, it is about the serious issues that can affect and ruin a relationship. Without giving too much personal detail, the rules we use are designed to prevent me from causing what I perceive to be a certainty - that everyone will leave me at some point and so I may as well push them into doing so and get it over and done with. This is destructive and damaging behaviour, but not something you can just change easily, it takes help, support and yes, sometimes discipline, but it has certainly worked for us. When we first started following a DD lifestyle we were both a bit awkward about it. Would it work? Would I allow it to? I believe it can only work if both sides want it to and I wanted to feel more secure in my life and so I was, and am, fully committed to it, although it can be hard to submit sometimes. Over time it becomes more natural and now I rarely even consider our choice of lifestyle, it just is... if that makes sense. In conclusion I find that DD can be useful as part of a chosen lifestyle and is not to be taken lightly. If you are looking for fun then this is probably not the format in which to find it. It can however, when used in a safe, sane and consensual manner, lead to a strong relationship and can help bring two people closer. I would strongly recommend anyone who is tempted to give it a go, do lots of research and find out as much as you can so that you know exactly what you are letting yourself in for! 40 comments
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