Thanks for this article with all the helpful advice. My problem is, however, that the moment a man starts giving fatherly advice about what women should do or not do I immediately feel an overwhelming urge to do exactly the opposite.

Thank you for your article, I read it with great interest. A girlfriend of mine had an experience of meeting a, so say, 'gentleman' online and of course they set up ground rules. However, during the course of their relationship, he suddenly wanted to change these, and yes the sex part came up. Needless to say, the relationship terminated, immediately.

Please could you consider doing an article on those of us who have online relationships but do not physically meet. There are dangers to those as well, they can really mess with your head and your heart. Words often can have very powerful consequences that are damaging.

In today's day and age when calling someone on the phone, you don't have to give them your number, they have it due to Caller ID. I also had a lady friend who decided she wanted to meet a guy and gave him her cell number. She immediately terminated the relationship, but he kept calling and threatening her.

Meetings are very dangerous indeed. But they can be dangerous for a man, too. Some men don't mind being tied up or handcuffed. I DO! I would never allow that and I don't care how well I know someone. Once you're tied up you're fair game for anything.

Very thoughtful articles. You're so right about the "not who they say they are." I've met quite a few people (online here at the library) whom I shared some information with. My first name, what state I live in, things like that. I'm married, so there is no meeting or any touchie feelie going to happen.

Very enjoyable read.

A quick comment about what Bendover said about caller ID. Most telephone companies allow you to block your number so that it doesn't show up on the recipient's caller ID. Of course you have to remember to do that before making the call.

Responding to Thomas Bruns Cyber Spanking article from the male perspective:
How about instead starting from the other end, namely get the girlfriend first and then see if she’d be up for a little slap and tickle? I may be dreaming of an ideal world but (disagree with me ladies if I’m wrong) since high percentages of both sexes get turned on by punishment fantasies it surely comes down to this piece of simple advice:
- Step 1, find your friend
- Step 2, choose an intimate moment to ask her if she’d mind
- Step 3, explore the pleasures together

Laying the fantasy on the table before any other foreplay may not allow you to get to Step 2 !! I’m not sure the Internet is the ideal place to switch Steps 1 and 2. Unless you have happened across an unashamed, experienced horny spanko (and lucky you if you have) she is likely to place your Internet Application to be her friend in the ‘doubtful’ category because of where it came from!....however turned on she might be at the spanking suggestion.

I look forward comments from the woman’s perspective (which of course is not mine). In my experience women hide their spanko side and only reveal it if they have already made up their mind to be intimate, and then they hope their partner will correctly interpret the signals. In many cultures it is a tradition for the mother of the bride to include a symbolic gift of an instrument of correction in the bride’s dowry. Of course that is not an invitation to torture their beloved daughter but a gentle prod to suggest that a taboo might now be relaxed with consent, if it helps create grandchildren.....

I often wonder if I would be here at all without it. Which helps answer the question, why is spanking such a turn-on: natural selection, of course.

A very interesting no-nonsense article!
"We horny men are so pathetic!": never a truer word said in jest!

Very well done, quite insightful, I enjoyed the thought process. I continue to be too shy or suspicious to try it.

Good sound advice. It's always advisable to take every precaution to be safe.

If a meeting has been set, take a friend with you who can sit and observe from a nearby table. Also on a first meet that may turn into an over the knee turn never take that person to your home. A nearby hotel/motel is safer. That way if he/she turns out to be a real dud that person will not know where you live.

There is always the 'drive-by' approach. Arrange to cruise past each other in your vehicle at an agreed-upon location. Honk twice for 'maybe'.

If both persons honk twice, meet in a somewhat busy place or restaurant, with the woman's choice of who gets there first. The first person wears something that stands out from the other people - a red scarf or specific hat, etc. Both people have the option of bailing out to the nearest emergency exit.

Lastly, if you seeking something long-term, it's a good idea to at least briefly discuss compatibility. Such as living on the same continent, education, etc.

Good advice. I've read enough horror stories on another kink site to say play safe. Yes, I include both males and females in the caution.
Don't rush into a meeting.