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The Art of Discipline Spanking
When it comes to spanking consenting adults, whether for discipline or pleasure, there are a lot of variables to consider. As spanking partners get to know each other, the person doing the spanking can rely much more on intuition and his or her ability to "read" the body language and energy of the person being spanked. But during those first several sessions, it's important to adhere to some common sense guidelines.
For many, a spanking is very often a means to an end. For some types of spankings, it's a form of sensuous and even erotic play. Sensuous does not have to be overtly sexual, although it often is. Erotic spankings are often a form of foreplay and some types of spankings can serve as a form of therapy to help the recipient enjoy a cathartic emotional release. For discipline spankings, though, it's about motivating different behavior patterns.
Then there are punishment spankings. While many people consider punishment and discipline spankings to be the same thing, I consider a punishment spanking to be an act of pure revenge while a discipline spanking is about bringing heartfelt remorse, a commitment to improved behavior and a purging of the soul which leads to forgiveness from both the spanker and the spankee forgiving him/herself. Punishment spankings can easily leave spankees feeling worse about themselves but at the end of a discipline spanking, the recipient should feel forgiven and empowered to be better. This article is intended to focus on discipline and therapeutic spankings.
The fantasy of a spanking may be very different from the reality. If all goes well, at a certain point, endorphins get released and the spanking transcends into something very different from the mere administration of pain. But everyone's pain tolerances are different and a person's pain tolerance can dramatically fluctuate during a session based on their mental and emotional state at any particular moment.
A good approach is to agree at the outset on a series of 'safe words' which the person being spanked can use to succinctly communicate their condition to the spanker. These can be anything at all but the following, or something similar, are quite often used:
• Yellow - Slow down. We're approaching my limits.While even serious disciplinary or therapeutic spankings need to incorporate a certain amount of pain in order to be effective, the sensory goal here is to hurt rather than harm. So it's important for the spanker to continuously monitor the spankee's body language and energy to make sure that the spanking at its most intense takes the recipient just to the edge. While the use of 'safe words' helps this process, sometimes the person being spanked has gone so deeply into the state of mind called 'sub space' that they may not be able to accurately gauge their physical condition.
Although when it comes to the kind of parental spanking that one may have been experienced as a child there is never a 'safe word', any responsible parent spanking a child will monitor the child's condition to make sure that spanking doesn't go too far. Here, however, we're talking about spankings between responsible, consenting adults who need to take care that, while a spanking may hurt greatly, it never goes so far as to risk the health or safety of the recipient.
During a spanking there are a number of warning signs to look out for:
• The flesh turns ashy white.For some people, bruises, welts and marks are a much wanted 'souvenir' of a sound spanking but for others, marking of any kind beyond redness is a hard limit. It's important to discuss and agree on limits before beginning a session. In terms of the mechanics of a spanking, typically the focus is on the fleshiest parts of the buttocks. This portion of the anatomy can safely absorb a lot of punishment while adjacent areas can be risky. The 'sit spot', which is the area where cheeks meet thighs, can be a sensitive area and is a place many disciplinarians like to give special attention when they want to leave a lasting impression, as the spankee will really feel the after effects when sitting. The thighs and inner thighs are generally considered to be more sensitive than the buttocks, so one is likely to spank there sparingly and mainly when trying to underscore a point.
The areas surrounding the tailbone, the base of the spine and the kidneys should always be avoided, especially if using a hard implement like a paddle. If care isn't taken potentially serious physical damage can ensue from strikes to these parts of the body. It's possible to familiarize oneself with a partner's anatomy by running a finger from the top of the butt crack until reaching the point where the tailbone is. If one then imagines a circle surrounding the tailbone where the circumference is roughly a finger length from the center that should be considered a 'No Strike Zone'. In order to protect the kidneys spanking is best directed to the area below the top of the butt crack.
For both participants to get the most out of a spanking, it's probably best to think in terms of a marathon rather than a sprint, whether the spanking is intended to trigger smiles and giggles or tears and remorse. Starting with a warm up of medium intensity can help to prepare the flesh, sensitize nerve endings and begin the process of helping the recipient get into a mindset of surrender and release. The warm up can be carried out over underwear, bare bottomed, or start initially over underwear and then go on to bare bottom.
Starting over underwear and then lowering or completely removing the underwear after several minutes of hand spanks can introduce a ritualistic element into the spanking since that progression contributes to a shift in the mindset of the recipient. But whether the warm up begins semi-clothed or is bare from the outset, it is expected to end bare and with a fairly uniform pinkness to the primary target area.
As the spanking progresses, periodically pausing and either resting one's hand on the spankee's bottom or gently rubbing it can serve several functions:
• It helps you gauge the condition of your partner's bottom.One way to administer a hand spanking is to cup your hand, leave your fingers loose and spread apart and snap your wrist just before impact. Hard work is not needed for most of the spanking and one can simply let gravity do much of the work for. There is of course a cumulative effect and the longer the spanking, the more sensitive the buttocks become and the greater the emotional reaction.
Spanking implements are generally considered to fall into one of two categories depending on the primary effect they produce: sting and thud. The hand, leather straps and paddles and lightweight wood such as paint stirrers, rulers or ping pong paddles are regarded as creating sting. The sensations are like fine needles and are felt primarily on the surface of the skin. This means the spanking can be administered for longer periods of time without leaving lasting marks. It also means that the flesh can more easily handle multiple spankings in an afternoon or evening. And with each subsequent spanking, the flesh tends to be that much more sensitive and tender and tears come faster and easier.
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